Bleeding Love!
by DarkDaughter1318
Summary: When Adrian finds out about Rose's betrayal, he does what Adrian always does, nurses a bottle of Vodka. How ever, one night at a bar, and one dead strigoi later, he meets a guardian who just may turn his life around, but will he let her have his heart?
1. No Escaping!

**A/N: Alright guys, I've done stories for all kinds of different books, but every Vampire Academy story I've done has been Rose X Dimitri. I think they're perfect together, but I love me some Adrian Ivashkov, ya know? So… I figured I'd do the man a little justice and write him a story as well. Also, I'd like to point out; this story is going to be based around a quote from the up and coming book 'Bloodlines'. It was one of those stupid teaser quotes they put out to make us freak out and want the book that much more? Yeah. So anyway… for all my Ivashkov lovers out there… **

"_She's all he see's when he closes his eyes. _

_No matter how much he tries to forget her,_

_No matter how much he drinks, she's always there_

_He can't escape her." _

I sat at the bar, bottle in hand. The bar was slap full with people, moroi and dhampir alike. That's why I got here early, so I could stake my claim on a spot in the place before it got too packed. I poured some more vodka into my glass and downed it. The past week, the alcohol was all I knew. There was nothing else I could do to numb the pain, the betrayal I felt. She'd fucked me over, big time. But naturally, I blamed myself. I knew she didn't love me. I knew she was so far gone for Belikov, it could never and it would never be me. I was an idiot to let myself believe it for so long. I turned a blind eye, hoping maybe he meant what he said, hoping that his love really had faded for her, and she'd eventually get over it, and be able to love me the way she loved him. It was a false hope. I knew that. I was an idiot. I knew that too. I looked over at my guardian, Eddie Castille as he took the bar stool next to me.

"You haven't given that bottle a break, have you?" He asked. I looked at the bottle of Russia Vodka sitting next to my glass. It was almost empty and we'd only been here about an hour and a half. He'd been gone to the bathroom, and a good portion of it had disappeared in the time he'd been gone.

"Nope." I told him, popping the P.

"You know she-." I cut him off by shaking my head.

"What'd I tell you about talking about her, Castille? You're here to protect me, and make sure Strigoi don't try and eat me… not to give me life lessons." I told him.

"I wish you'd just listen to me for once in your fucking life, Adrian."

"What then Eddie? What is it you so desperately want me to hear?" I asked, completely annoyed at his presence. Eddie and I had gotten along well from the beginning, but it was in moments like this… moments when he tried to be 'helpful' that I sort of regretted agreeing to let him be my guardian.

"You knew it was going to come to this. You knew it was going to happen. So, I have yet to understand why you're drowning yourself in Vodka, and killing your liver."

"Whether I knew it or not doesn't make it hurt any less, Eddie." I snapped at him, shaking my head. The boy had no idea what he was talking about. He'd never been in love, never knew what it was like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on by the person you cared most about.

"I know it doesn't but-." I sighed.

"Eddie, look." I started. "I know you're trying to be helpful… but honestly, it's not doing a damn thing for me. If you understood what it was like, you'd get it… but you don't. Just… let me wallow in my own self-pity."

"I'm supposed to be protecting you." He said. I sighed.

"I'm very aware. That's what guardians are supposed to do." I told him, remembering back to all the times Rose had protected me, the evil things she'd protected me from, but in the end… the thing I needed to be protected from was her. Eddie shook his head at my tone.

"I give up man. You know what… wallow. I can't stop you. Your Adrian Ivashkov though. You have a reputation to uphold." He told me. He turned around on his bar stool, looking around the bar. "There are some nice looking girls here."

"Yeah… I know." I muttered, not turning around. I knew there were. It was very rare you stumbled across a moroi that was unattractive. We were all good-looking, some more than others. Although, I knew no moroi or dhampir could ever replace her. None of them would ever be able to capture my heart the way she did, and I'd make damn sure none of them had the opportunity to break it the way she did. I would never give anyone the opportunity again. I heard the clicking of heels approaching the bar. I didn't turn. I didn't exactly care who was approaching. I saw her to my right put her elbows against the bar, and called over the bar tender.

"I need a scotch please." She said. Her voice was sweet and very soft. Without my vampire hearing, it wouldn't have heard her at all. I turned to see she had dark auburn hair, curled in ringlets splaying down her back and shoulders. She caught me looking at her, and turned to me for a split second, meeting my gaze. She had bright blue eyes, almost the color of Christian's but brighter, more of an electric blue. She quickly turned back as the bar tender handed her the glass. She slipped her two dollars, and walked away from the bar, never looking back my direction. I turned and watched as she walked away from the bar. She was wearing a green shirt, and black dress pants with heels. I couldn't really tell from the back, but she was curvy and had a very cute figure, much like Rose did. From her build, I would say she was a dhampir, but I couldn't be for sure. Eddie slapped my shoulder.

"See, that's more like it." He said.

"I was just looking."

"It's better than staring at that Vodka bottle." He said, picking it up and taking a swig out of it. I snatched it from him.

"If you're going to drink it, at least use a glass. I don't know where your mouth has been." I snapped. He smirked.

"My mouth is clean. Yours, on the other hand… I'm not so sure of." He said, laughing. I rolled my eyes. I turned back to see the girl sit down in a booth with another man. He was a moroi. I could tell that much, even in the dim light.

"She's here with someone." I said.

"Who?" He asked. I jerked my head towards the booth she'd sat down in. He turned.

"He's a moroi. She might be his guardian." Eddie said.

"I'm not for sure she's a dhampir." I told him.

"Did you see her ass? She's a dhampir, no doubt. No moroi woman I've seen has ever had an ass like that." I just looked at him. "What?" I shook my head, and chuckled. It was the first time I'd laughed in days.

"It's good to know you can tell a moroi's and a dhampirs ass apart."

"It's good to know sometimes." He said. "Like now, for example." I rolled my eyes.

"Your something else Castille." I told him.

"I know, I know. I make a terrific guardian though. That's all that matters."

"Sure, sure." I muttered. I would have much preferred Rose as my guardian, no doubt… but she had Lissa, so I got stuck with Eddie. I could have ended up with Dimitri, but Christian got stuck with him. I was extremely happy to not have to look into that cradle-robbing, ex-strigoi, Russian, sorry son-of-a-bitches face every day. I wondered how Rose was doing. She'd been shot. She was healing considerably before I left, and she seemed to be almost one hundred percent when I went to her room to speak to her. Regardless of the shit she put me though, I still worried about her. It was sad, really sad that someone could treat me like dirt, walk all over me, use me, and then I still cared about them, still worried about their safety. I didn't used to be this way. I used to be own person. I didn't care about anyone but myself. I wished I was still like that. I wished I didn't give a shit about anyone else but myself… but I couldn't lie to myself. I cared about her. I cared about her more than I ever planned or wanted to. I sighed.

"Come on… don't start that shit again. You were doing so well. Quit thinking about her." Eddie said.

"Easier said than done." I stated simply. He sighed.

"I have to pee. I'm going to the bathroom."

"That's why I don't drink beer." I told him.

"No… you don't drink beer because it's cheap, and would make you look trashy." He said.

"Well, that too." I said. He chuckled, and started towards the bathroom. I was in dire need for a cigarette. I hopped off my bar stool, with my glass in hand, and stumbled my way out the back door and into the alley. I pulled the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket, and lit one. I hadn't been outside for more than a minute when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to find a man walking towards me. He was pale… but to pale to be moroi. As he approached, the red rims in his eyes became visible. I stepped back.

"Oo, royal blood." He said, sneering at me. I took a few more steps away.

"Fuck my life." I muttered. It was hard to believe this was how it was all going to end. I felt like a complete idiot for walking out here alone. I should have known better. You think I'd have more sense than this. He crouched down, ready to lunge and go for the kill when the door opened and someone attacked him, taking him to the ground. He fought back, but had definitely been caught off guard. They had him staked within a minute. When they stood up, and I took in what they were wearing, I realized who it was. She turned to look at me, allowing me to get a good look at her face. Eddie had been right. Definitely dhampir.

"Look, I really don't mean to be rude, but what the fuck were you thinking coming out here alone. You know this city is full of strigoi at night. You, of all people should know you don't walk out the back door of a bar alone." She said, voice hard and obviously annoyed. Her electric blue eyes shined in the dim light from the street light down the alley. She had high cheek bones and full lips. She was definitely beautiful. "I promised myself I wasn't going to get blood on this shirt, either." She said, looking down at herself.

"I'm… I'm so sorry." I told her.

"I'm sure you are. Get back inside with your guardian, please." No sooner had she said that, the door busted open, and Eddie stepped out. He looked at the ground, the girl, and then me.

"What the hell happened?"

"Your genius moroi here decided he'd come out here alone… all for what? A cigarette?" She asked. I was embarrassed at how stupid of a move I'd made. Regardless, she shook her head. _"Idiot." _

"Are you both okay?" Eddie asked.

"I'm fine." She muttered. I nodded.

"I'm good." I said, my eyes still on her.

"Jeez, moron." Eddie said, approaching me.

"Shut up, Eddie." I looked up at the girl.

"What's your name?"

"Guardian Merlon." She answered.

"First name." I said, as if it should have been obvious the first time.

"Sabrina." She snapped at me. She was feisty. She reminded me a lot of Rose in more ways than one.

"Look, let me buy you a drink. I owe my life to you." I said.

"I can't drink. I'm on duty." She said. I looked at Eddie, him narrowing his eyes at me. The door opened again, and out stepped a moroi man.

"What are you doing out here?" He snapped at her. Her face softened a little as she turned to him.

"I was just saving a dumb ass moroi that doesn't have enough sense not to walk into an alley in the middle of the night." She said.

"Get your ass back in here… now." He said, face looking slightly angry. She nodded.

"Yes sir." She said, as if he was her master. It kind of made my blood boil, the way he'd just spoken to her, and even more so the way she'd answered. "Stay with Eddie, Ivashkov." She walked back inside, following the man who had been standing in the door. I stood there, staring at the door.

"She's fucking hott." Eddie said.

"No kidding. Was it just me, or was that guy a complete dick."

"Definitely a dick. It could be the alcohol." He said.

"Maybe."

"We should go back to the hotel." I nodded. We walked around the back to the car, and got in. Eddie drove obviously. He'd had much less to drink. As I sat in the driver's seat, I started thinking about her. She'd been a bad ass, just like Rose had. She had an attitude, just like Rose had, but Rose would have never, ever let someone speak to her like that without staking them. Eddie had been right, she was absolutely gorgeous. When we got back to the hotel, I poured me another glass of Vodka, and sat down on my bed. Rose consumed my mind once again. I hadn't been at court since Rose and I had last spoken. I couldn't stand to be there, knowing she was there, knowing they were in the Royal quarters where my Aunt had once lived, sleeping together. The thought made me ill. I wondered what she was doing, if she'd even noticed I hadn't been there. I wondered if she was worried. Of course she was. We were friends before we were a couple. _Good. _I wanted her to be worried; I wanted her to feel horrible for what she'd done to me. I wanted her to suffer… but at the same time… I didn't. I wanted her to be happy…. I just wanted her to be happy with me, not him. I downed the last of the vodka in my glass and collapsed onto my bed. Eddie had already passed out on the bed next to mine. Boy couldn't handle alcohol for shit. As I slowly fell asleep, I thought about going to her, about dream walking on her just to check and make sure she was doing okay, but I refrained. By doing that I was as weak as she said I was. I wouldn't be that weak again.


	2. Expectations!

When I woke up the next morning, my head was pounding. Eddie was already up, sipping on a cup of coffee. I'd dreamed about her again… Rose. I couldn't avoid her. Every time I closed my eyes, hell even when my eyes were open, all I saw was her. I'd ripped the wound open once again, thinking of her gorgeous face, her long and thick hair, and the way her body curved beneath her clothes. Eddie was staring at me, as I held my face in my hands.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine. My head is just pounding." I lied. He crossed the room, getting me the bottle of aspirin, and handing me two. He then poured me a cup of coffee. I took a drink of it, swallowing the pills, and sighed.

"Feeling that hang-over?" He asked me. I sighed.

"I don't get hangovers, Eddie. I'm an alcoholic." I told him. For some reason, my heart ached as I admitted the words out loud. It was probably because there was a time when I'd given up the Vodka for Rose, and now that she was gone, I was running right back to it, abusing it now more than ever. He didn't say anything else for awhile. We sat in silence. I got up, and changed my clothes, and redid my hair. Eddie then went into the bathroom, getting dressed.

"You know… you don't handle alcohol very well."

"What? I didn't get sick." He said, objecting.

"You didn't have too. You barely got two steps in the door before you passed out. I came in, sat down, had another and then went to sleep."

"Like you said… you're an alcoholic." He told me, chuckling. I rolled my eyes at him. "I have to go back to court today for a meeting. You're welcome to come with me. You know, your family might miss you."

"I can't."

"The odds of you seeing her are slim. You're going to the Ivashkov wing. She's in Lissa's wing on the other side of court." He said, trying to reason with me.

"Why are you trying to get me to go?"

"Lissa called me this morning." He said. I sighed.

"Of course. What'd she say?"

"She misses you, and she wants you to come home, so she can talk to you. She also said your mother is extremely worried about you." He told me.

"She knows I'm with you. She knows you'll look after me."

"That's beside the point, Adrian. You're her son." He told me. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.

"Are you going to make me go?" I asked. I knew the answer already.

"Most likely."

"Awesome. I'll get my coat." I muttered. On the drive to court, my mind was in over-drive. What if I saw her? Would she speak to me? Would I be able to speak to her? What if I saw her with Dimitri? Would I freak out on him? Would it turn to blows? I was losing my mind. I sincerely wanted to jump out of the moving car just so I wouldn't have to go. When we pulled up to the gates, and the guardian's opened them, my heart sped up.

"You alright over there?"

"Yeah, why?" I said, trying to downplay my fear the best I could. _God, why couldn't that strigoi have just killed me last night? _

"You look like you're going to puke." He told me.

"I'm fine." I told him. He looked over at me.

"Mhmm."

"We don't have to stay long, do we?" I asked.

"We'll see." He said, as we got out of the car. As we approached the doors of court, all sorts of memories began flooding back to me, memories I didn't want to think about. The moment we stepped inside, my heart began aching. I felt like someone was cutting a hole into my chest.

"I have to go to the board room. Lissa told me she'd be in the throne room. Go see her." He said. I just stared at him.

"Rose is her guardian… if she's."

"Rose isn't with her… trust me. She's going to be in the meeting. She's the queen's guardian." He said. I did trust Eddie. I trusted him with my life, obviously. I walked through the halls to the throne room, where Lissa sat in the large chair that had once belonged to my Aunt Tatiana. My heart lurched again, but this time… it was for a different reason. My Aunt was probably the one person I was closest to out of my entire family. Her death hit me hard. Rose's betrayal made it worse. Lissa looked up, and shock crossed her face.

"Your majesty." I said, bowing a little.

"Adrian." She jumped out of the chair, rushing to wrap her arms around me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and just let her hold me for a second. If there was anyone I'd missed since I'd left, it'd been Lissa. "Where have you been?" She demanded.

"Out." I answered.

"You look hung-over."

"Because I am." I told her honestly. I knew I couldn't lie to her anyway.

"I don't understand why you just up and-." I gave her a look, and I watched as realization and understanding filled her face.

"Adrian, you-." I cut her off.

"I really, really don't want to talk about it." I told her, meeting her gaze. "Please." She nodded.

"Alright. Where have you been staying?"

"A hotel just outside of town." I said.

"Why don't you come home? You don't have to live in a hotel just because of everything that happened." She said.

"Yes, I do. I can't stand to be here anymore. I didn't want to come today, but Eddie sort of forced me into it. Plus, I knew I owed you an explanation for where I'd been."

"A phone call would have sufficed if it hurts you this much to be here." She told me. _Of course. _I was going to beat Eddie's ass when I got a hold of him.

"How's being queen?"

"It's… definitely a job, but I'm handling. Everyone's helping me. I wish you were here to help me, Adrian."

"I just can't… not right now. I'm not ready for this yet." I told her honestly. I knew she could see the pain in my eyes, hear it in my voice because sympathy filled her gaze.

"Adrian, I'm so-."

"I don't want your sympathy, Lissa. It isn't anyone's fault but my own." I told her. She opened her mouth to object, but stopped, knowing it wasn't something that was up for debate. I sighed. "Where's Lord Ozera?" I asked, smirking.

"You rang?" He said, walking around Lissa's throne. He smiled at me. "Where the hell'd you run off to Ivashkov?"

"Been off doing some soul searching." I told him.

"What soul?" He asked, chuckling. It was good to see in the mess of everything, Christian hadn't changed any. Especially seeing as how his Aunt killed mine. I looked up to meet his gaze.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm dealing. It's hard… but I'll live. Although, I should be asking you the same thing. You've been dealing with a lot more than me." I paused for a second.

"I'm… I'm breathing." I told him. Lissa patted my back.

"Things will get easier."

"I hope your right. Look, I'd love to stay and chat, but I suppose I need to go speak with my mother. I hear she's been worried." I said.

"She has been." Lissa told me. "Please, promise me you won't leave without coming back and saying good-bye."

"I promise." I said, walking out. The moment I was outside of the throne room, I felt strangely vulnerable. I was scared she was going to come looking for me, if she knew I was here. When I reached the Ivashkov wing, I felt safe. I knew she had no reason to come to this side of court anymore. Why would she? When I opened the door, my mom looked up. The moment her eyes met mine, tears began streaming down her cheeks.

"God, where have you been? I was so worried." She said, coming over to me.

"I'm sorry. I've just been off… taking care of stuff."

"Stuff having to do with Rose being here?" My father asked, walking in. He wasn't ever one to avoid a subject. That I knew.

"I'm sorry I just up and left. I was with Eddie though. You know he looks out for me."

"I know, but I'm your mother. That doesn't make me any less worried. With everything that's already happened with your Aunt. I don't want to lose you too." She told me. I hugged her.

"Mom, I'm not going anywhere. I just need my space from court right now. I need time to get things together." I said. She frowned.

"I don't like you not being here. You're not as safe out there as you are here."

"Eddie looks out for me, pretty well. He's saved my ass a few times." I told her. I wasn't going to mention last night's events, afraid she'd chain me down to something where I couldn't leave.

"I know… I just worry."

"There's no need. I'm fine, mom." I told her. I was twenty-two. You'd think she'd realize I can take care of myself. _Apparently not._

"You look hung-over." My dad said.

"I'm not. I just haven't been sleeping lately."

"Bull shit." He called. I sighed.

"Look, I've got to go find Eddie. I'll be leaving again soon. Just know, I'm fine. I'm in good hands. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Please… don't leave again." My mother begged. I smiled.

"I have to mom. Give me some me time."

"You make it seem like your life isn't 'me time'. All your ever concerned with is you, how you feel, what you want. You never think of anyone else." My father told me. I didn't justify him with an answer. Hearing the words made my chest ache. I sighed, and kissed my mother's forehead.

"I'll see you as soon as I can." I told her before turning and walking out. I heard her soft sobs through the door as I walked away. I headed outside, needing to be alone. As I stared across the distance, my mind was racing. I wanted to see her. I wanted to know she was well, that she'd gotten everything she wanted, but I couldn't stand to face her now. Not in this weak state of mind I was already in. The walls I'd built to keep her out of my mind were crumbling down on me now. I needed to get out of here. I needed to find Eddie. I headed back into court, needing to get Eddie and get the hell out of this place. It was already going to be bad enough when we left anyway. When I turned the corner, I ran smack into someone. I grabbed their elbows careful not to let them fall, but then stepped back. When I finally looked up to meet there gaze, a set of soft electric blue eyes met mine.

"Ugh… you again." She said.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing." I said, giving her my best smart-ass smirk. She sighed.

"What do you want, Ivashkov?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still smirking at her.

"I was at the guardian meeting, but I live here." She said.

"Since when?" I demanded. There was no way I'd lived her almost my entire life and not seen her.

"Just moved her recently, my moroi and I are still getting settled in."

"You protect a royal?" I asked. She nodded once.

"Who?"

"Logan Voda." She told me. Ahh, the family that no one really cared about. I knew Logan was a year older than I was, and I'd only met him once. The only reason I'd met him then was because my family and theirs was involved in some kind of Moroi movement program a few years back. He told me we could hang out, but I didn't like him that much.

"Oh, how are you liking it so far?"

"It's annoying; there are too many snobby royals." She answered.

"Ouch." She nodded.

"I wasn't excluding you." I chuckled at her upfrontness.

"I'm not that snobby. At least, not anymore."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" She asked, as if she didnt believe me.

"Long story, don't want to talk about it." I admitted. That wasn't a story I ever wanted to tell her. I heard someone call her name, and saw her face darken a little. She took a deep breath, and turned to look at the person approaching. It was Logan.

"I told you to meet me in the dining room after you were done." He snapped at her, yelling at her once again.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I kept her. Just catching up." I told him, trying to change his tone with her, ever so slightly. He looked at me, and back to her.

"Let's go… Now." He said.

"I have to go get my-." He cut her off with a look. As she turned, I saw a huge bruise on the side of her neck. She'd cleverly covered it with her hair, but when she turned; her hair fell away from it. She nodded. "Yes sir." She looked at me, sad expression on her face.

"Good day Lord Ivashkov." She said, addressing me by my title. I hated hearing it. I hated having to live up to it. I hated being addressed that way. As she walked away, I called after her.

"Sabrina, have you seen Eddie?" I called after her. She turned to me.

"Last time I saw him, he was talking to Guardian Hathaway." She told me. My heart lurched. _Great. _I nodded once, and sighed as she turned, jogging away from me. I debated on going outside and sitting in the van, waiting on him, but that was being weak, a coward. I took a deep breath before starting around the corner. As I turned, I ran smack into someone.

"Shit." They muttered. That voice, the voice that could send shivers up my spine, and the voice that completely tore me into pieces.


	3. She's Your Something

**A/N: Review guys, a bunch of people read my story, but I only got two reviews. Come on guys, your slacking on me. **

The moment I heard her voice, my stomach dropped. This was what I'd been hoping most to avoid, but no. I'd never get that lucky. When she finally gained back her balance, she looked up.

"Watch where-." She cut herself off when she realized who it was she'd ran into. "Adrian." Her voice as she said my name sent an electric current down my spine. I'd been almost a week and half since I'd heard her voice, smelled her scent, or seen her gorgeous face. I missed it. I missed it more than anything in the world.

"Hello Rose." I said. Her name leaving my lips shattered my heart a little bit more.

"Where… where have you been?"

"Out." I answered, the same way I answered my mother when she asked me that exact same question.

"I got worried when you up and disappeared."

"I'm fine. Eddie takes care of me."

"Someone needs too." She said. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"So now I'm so weak, I can't even take care of myself?" I asked her, never fully meeting her gaze.

"I never said that, Adrian. I never said you were weak to begin with. I know you're not." She said. I didn't say anything. I just looked down at the floor. "Why'd you leave?" She asked. I shook my head and laughed.

"You're really asking me that question?" I demanded. She took a step closer to me.

"Why won't you look at me?" She asked. I took a step away from her.

"Rose… stop." I muttered.

"Adrian, I'm serious." She said. I still refused to look at her. "God damn it, Adrian… look at me." I looked up and met her gaze then, anger coursing through my veins. I regretted it immediately because my heart shattered a little bit more the moment I was gazing into her dark eyes.

"You want to know why I left? I left because of you. I left because I couldn't stand to see you anymore. I left because I couldn't stand to see you with him. I left because I can't stand sitting around watching you get your happily ever after. I can't stand seeing you, knowing what you did to me, what you did to us, lying to me, using me. That, Rose Hathaway is the reason I left. I can't stay here anymore." I said. The moment I was done, I shook my head. I turned, going to find Eddie, and getting the hell out of here.

"Adrian… wait, we have to talk about this."

"No. I'm done talking Rose. There's nothing more you or I can say to make this better." I snapped. I continued walking away.

"I'm sorry." She called. I turned and met her gaze, full of sorrow. I couldn't let her break me now. I'd come so far.

"That's your second lie." I told her, turning and walking away.

"Adrian…" She murmured. I kept walking. This wasn't the time to be weak. I walked out the front door, and took a deep breath. I was trying to stay strong, trying to keep my cool. I was failing horribly. I looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I shook my head as the tears slowly began escaping down my face. I tried to stop them, but they continued to flow freely. I wiped them away, and took a deep breath. I heard the door open behind me, but I didn't turn. I was afraid it was her.

"Adrian?" A voice said. _Eddie. _

"What?" I asked, trying to hide the fact I was crying.

"You saw her… didn't you?" He asked. I nodded once.

"Can we get out of here? Please." I murmured. He nodded.

"Yeah. Come on." He said. I followed him to the van. I got in, and allowed him to drive me back to the hotel. The van was silent. I stared out the window, not saying anything allowing a few more tears to escape. I felt like such a baby, but I couldn't help it. The pain, the hurt I felt just overpowered the feeling of wanting to be strong. I wished I could. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be over it… but I couldn't. It hurt too damn much.

"Listen, Adrian… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you go." He said, after about ten minutes of silence. I shook my head.

"I'm fine. I needed to go. I needed to see Lissa, and my mother."

"No… If I wouldn't have said anything about it… you wouldn't have even known. This is my fault, and I'm seriously sorry, bro." I turned to him.

"Eddie, it's not your fault. I'll be fine." I told him.

"Going out again tonight?" He asked. I gave him a look, causing him to laugh. "I take that as a yes." I just nodded. When we reached the hotel, I got changed my clothes. I poured myself a glass of scotch as I waited for Eddie to get dressed. Once he was ready, we headed out on foot this time, walking to the same bar we were in last night. Eddie and I approached the bar, sitting down in our normal space. The bar tender brought me my normal bottle of Vodka, and sat it down in front of me with a glass. He gave Eddie a beer and went on about his way. Eddie turned and looked at me.

"You seriously need to find someone to take your mind off her." Eddie said.

"That won't work."

"Have you tried?" He asked.

"No… You've been with me since I left. You know that." I told him. He sighed. He turned and looked at the door, and chuckled.

"You're girls back." I turned to see Sabrina walk in the door.

"She's not my girl."

"Well, she saved your life… so she's your something." He said.

"Not my fault my guardian wasn't there to protect me." I snapped.

"Not my fault my moroi didn't have better sense than to walk out into the night alone." I growled at him but didn't say anything else. As Sabrina approached the bar, I kept my head down. When she called the bartender over, she ordered a Voodoo Priestess.

"Well hello there beautiful." I said, leaning closer to her.

"God, you don't have anywhere better to be?" She asked.

"Ouch." I said, clutching my chest. She rolled her eyes. "Where's Voda?"

"I'm off duty at the moment." She said, grabbing her drink from the bartender.

"In that case, have a seat." I said, pulling out the bar stool next to me. She chuckled.

"Nice try." She said, walking away. A girl that gets the last word and walks away clearly wants to be chases. My father taught me that when I was young. I jumped off my bar stool, following her over to the booth she sat down in. I sat down across from her, and smirked.

"You're not getting away from me that easily, Guardian Merlon." I told her. She grimaced and narrowed her eyes at me.

"You're going to leave your guardian over there all alone?"

"He's used to being alone."

"You're not." She snapped, snarkily. I wanted to recoil a little at her harsh words.

"If only you knew." I muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing. So tell me something about yourself." I said, cupping my chin in my hand.

"I don't like snobby royals." She said, quickly.

"Good thing Logan's not here." I told her. She chuckled. She actually laughed at one of my jokes. I was shocked. I smirked. "I got you to laugh. Score one Ivashkov."

"You're definitely something." She muttered.

"Something good?"

"That's debatable." She told me. I rolled my eyes.

"You're a woman… Everything's debatable with you."

"Ouch." She said, clutching her chest as I had earlier.

"So, what made you want to be a Voda's guardian?" I asked her.

"What made you want Eddie as your guardian?"

"He's a good wing man." I told her, smirking. I was surprised to find myself actually having a good time.

"Of course." She muttered.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I did it because… it's what my father would have wanted me to do." She said.

"It's not what you wanted?"

"I don't know what I want." She said. She pushed her hair behind her ear, allowing the bruise on her neck to become slightly more noticeable. I wanted to ask, but I felt if she wanted people to know she wouldn't be trying to hide it.

"That's another thing all women have in common. None of you know what you want."

"You say that like you know from experience." She said, meeting my gaze.

"You have NO idea." I said. She raised an eyebrow, but I didn't ask. It was probably pretty obvious on my face that I didn't want to talk about it.

"So…. Ivashkov, what draws you to this bar? I mean… The bar at Court is pretty nice."

"There are people there I don't wish to be around."

"Ahh… Crazy ex-girlfriend?" She asked.

"Not exactly." I said. "What brings you here? Ya know, the bar at Court is pretty nice." I was mocking her, and I think she got it because she narrowed her eyes.

"I've already made it very clear I don't like hanging with Snobby royals."

"But yet, you throw yourself in front of one, gave your life up for one." I said. She sighed.

"I have no choice."

"Of course you have a choice." I told her.

"Oh yeah? And what choice is that? If I don't guard a snobby royal, who else could I guard?"

"You don't have to be assigned to anyone." I said.

"If I'm not assigned I feel like I'm not reaching my full potential as a guardian. I have to be assigned to someone."

"So your assigned to someone you dislike." I said.

"I don't… I don't dislike him. He's just a bit snobby."

"A bit?"

"A lot." She said. I chuckled.

"That sounds about right." I told her. She smiled, showing me her gorgeous white teeth. I'd known she was beautiful, but sitting here across from her now, I was finally able to realize how heart-breakingly beautiful she truly was. She looked up and giggled.

"Looks like your Guardian's not so used to being alone." She said, motioning to the bar. I looked up to see Eddie sitting beside some Moroi chick at the bar.

"I taught him everything he knows."

"Apparently not because he seems to be getting somewhere." She said. Eddie leaned in, and whispered something in her ear. She giggled, and touched his face as he backed away from her.

"Are you trying to say something, Guardian Merlon?"

"It's possible." She said, getting up.

"Hey, where are you going?" I asked, getting up after her.

"Outside… I need some air."

"You mind-."

"I do." She said. I sighed, and nodded, heading back up to the bar. When I approached Eddie, the girl looked up at me, and back to Eddie. Eddie gave me a dirty look, knowing I was messing up his flow.

"Sophia, this is my charge, Adrian Ivashkov." She smiled, tossing her hair behind her shoulder.

"It's a pleasure." She said. She had a hint of a Russian accent lacing her voice. Automatically, my mind flooded to Dimitri, and how obsessed Rose had been with his fucking Russian accent. I smiled.

"I'm going to step outside with Sabrina." I told him. He nodded once, and turned his attention back to his Russian Moroi at hand. I walked out the front door, and sighed. I couldn't think of them, of Rose, of Dimitri… not now. I was doing so good. I walked a few steps down the sidewalk to where she was standing.

"You okay?"

"I'm good, just needed some air. Didn't I tell you I minded you being out here?" She asked, smirking in my direction.

"Well, Eddie sort of shunned me for the moment, so I had to come out here and bug you some more."

"Well, remind me to kick Eddie in the face when he's not busy." She told me. I nodded.

"I'll be sure to do that. Can you get your leg that high?" I asked, giving her my best Ivashkov smirk.

"You'd be surprised what I can do." She told me, giggling.

"You're probably right. That's another thing… Woman always end up surprising me."

"We're good for that." She said.

"You know… you're different, not like most guardians."

"A lot of the guardians say I remind them of Guardian Hathaway… I don't see it." She said. My heart lurched and I quickly averted my gaze.

"It's your attitude."

"Her attitude is nothing compared to mine." She told me.

"I'd have to agree. Your snarkier than she was." I wasn't going to add how much I was deeply in love with Rose. That wasn't a conversation I wished to have with her... ever.

"Thank you." She said. I chuckled. I couldn't help but noticed now that I was standing closer to her, that around the bruise on her neck, which she'd tried to hide with a veil of hair, had scratches and marks all around it. She'd taken a pretty harsh beating from the looks of it. I was extremely curious as to what had happened. We went back inside, and sat down again. Eddie's girl had made herself comfortable in the bar stool beside him. I quit worrying about them and turned my attention to Sabrina.

"So… where are you from?"

"Originally? I'm from Florida. I went to an academy there, and graduated. I met Logan just outside Florida on a trip we were on. We kind of hit it off, I guess. I've been his guardian ever since." She said.

"Hit it off? That's not what it looked like from where I stood."

"Things change." She said, looking down. I didn't say anything else. I watched Eddie approach the table, and sigh.

"Can we go please?"

"Do we have too?" I asked, looking up at him. He looked like he might be sick.

"I think I'm going to be sick… please." He said. I sighed.

"I told you that you couldn't handle alcohol." I said, getting up. I turned to Sabrina. "It was a pleasure. I hope to see you again."

"If you're lucky." She said. She extended her hand to me and I brought it to my lips, kissing it gently before winking at her, and following Eddie out of the bar.


	4. Wreck!

Eddie stumbled into the hotel room, and ran straight for the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet, and heaving his guts up.

"Told you that you couldn't handle the alcohol." I said, standing by the bathroom door.

"Go away." He moaned, as he heaved again. I chuckled. I poured myself a class of Vodka and began drinking it, as I waited on Eddie to exit. When he stumbled out, he went over and laid down on his bed.

"So what happened to your Russian chick?" I asked.

"She went to the bathroom, and I ditched."

"Awe, the poor girl… you just ditched her like that?"

"I had no choice. I didn't want to throw up on her." He said.

"That would have been a story." I told him. He groaned.

"My head is pounding."

"You didn't even drink that much." I said.

"I haven't ate much either." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"I've gone almost all day without eating, drink non-stop, and never throw up. You're such a bitch when it comes to alcohol."

"Will you shut up. I'm sorry I'm not an alcoholic Adrian."

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered. He closed his eyes, and held his head.

"How were things going with Sabrina?" He asked.

"They were going until you came and fucked it all up." I told him.

"Sorry bro." He muttered. I just nodded.

"Just sleep, you big baby." I muttered. I watched as he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep. I wanted to go back to the bar, back to Sabrina, but what guarantee did I have that she would even still be there. I looked at the clock. It was only 3 a.m. That was my guarantee. I walked over to Eddie, and pulled the stake out of his holder and shoved it into my pocket. I knew he'd beat my ass if he knew I was leaving without him, but I could really care less. I walked outside to the car, and got in, driving back to the bar. When I got out, and walked inside, I turned to find her sitting at the same booth, but with a different guy in front of her. I stood back, watching her face, her expression. As the moroi talked, she'd fake a laugh, or a smile, but in her eyes, I could see she was completely bored with him. She actually looked like she kind of wanted to shoot herself. I chuckled from a distance, but her head snapped up and she locked gazes with me, but then narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me." She said, before getting up.

"Are you here alone?"

"Uhm… Yeah." I said, knowing she was referring to me not being with Eddie.

"Are you out of your rabbit ass mind?" She asked me. She'd said something similar the night she'd saved me in the alley outside.

"You know, from the looks of it, me showing up did you a favor." I said, motioning over to the boy still sitting in the booth. He sighed.

"That doesn't matter. It was stupid for you to come back here alone."

"I didn't come unarmed." I told her, revealing the stake in my pocket.

"Do you even know how to use that?" She demanded.

"Let's hope I don't have to find out." She shook her head.

"You'll never learn, will you?"

"I came back because I wanted to hang out with you more." I admitted, looking down.

"So, you risked coming alone, risked getting attacked by strigoi to see me again?" I nodded once. "You really are stupid, aren't you?" I looked up at her.

"I would think you would take it as a compliment."

"I think you're stupid for taking such a risk, Adrian. What if I would have left? Then who would have looked after you?" She asked.

"I don't need anyone to look after me. I am not a child." I snapped, remembering Rose and I talking from earlier. My heart lurched as I thought her name.

"I didn't say-." I shook my head at her.

"You were right. It was a mistake coming back. Good night Guardian Merlon." I said, before turning and walking out. I started into the parking lot, to my car when I heard the door open, and heard her call my name.

"Adrian, wait… What did I say?"

"You didn't say anything, Sabrina. It was a mistake coming back here without Eddie." I said. I opened the door. I felt my eyes starting to water, so I quickly looked away.

"Adrian, are you okay?" I looked up at her.

"I'm fine. I'll see you later, I hope. Goodnight Sabrina." I said, before getting into the car, and backing out, going back to the hotel. I left her standing there in the parking lot like some kind of drunken break up scene. I was stupid to go back. I was stupid to put myself out there. She was right. I was a fucking moron. When I got back to the hotel and walked in, Eddie was automatically standing.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He all but screamed.

"I was at the bar."

"Why did you leave? You should know better than to leave without me. Damn it, Adrian. Do you know how big of a risk you just took? You could have been killed. Lissa, and your mother, and Rose would have my head if I let something happen to you." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"What?" He asked, confused by my question.

"You said something about Rose." I told him. He shook his head.

"No I didn't."

"Eddie, God damn it. Don't lie to me." I growled at him. It was bad that I came in to him screaming at me, but it ended up being me yelling at him.

"Adrian, it's nothing… honestly."

"You're lying to me. I can see it in your aura. I can see it in your eyes." I snapped at him. I took a step forward, putting us in each other's face. I wouldn't hit him, and he knew that… but I wanted too. He sighed.

"I talked to Rose, before we left… and she made me promise to look out for you, not to let you do anything stupid. She knows you, and how you think. She knows you were hurt, and she knows how you respond to emotional pain. She was worried about you. She blames herself."

"It is her fault." I roared, walking past him. Here I was lying too. It wasn't her fault. She loved him more than anything in the world, and I knew that. I was stupid to make her pretend she loved me, that she felt something for me. Hell, she'd almost had sex with me. I wished we would have. God, what I would do for that one experience with her. I shook my head. I sat down on my bed, and put my hands in my head.

"She knows I'm a wreck." I murmured. He nodded.

"Yes, she does."

"She knows I'm hurt."

"She knows it's her fault." He said. He was staring at me.

"It isn't her fault, Eddie. It's mine."

"How do you go about taking the blame for someone else cheating on you?" He asked, giving me a smart ass look.

"I knew she loved him. I didn't want them leaving together. Inside, I was hoping he'd meant what he said, hoping that his love for her really had faded, but I saw it. It was in her eyes every day. Every time I kissed her, touched her, she was hesitant. I knew her body was with me, but her mind was with him. Why I let it go on, why I let her pretend, I'll never understand." I said, running my hands through my hair.

"It was because you love her, and Adrian… In a way, she loved you too."

"Oh, don't go there. She tried to feed me that shit too, and I didn't buy it. What makes you think I'll buy it from you?" I demanded, standing up, pacing beside my bed.

"Because she busted her ass for you, to protect you, she tried to be with you. You may think she felt no remorse about what she did to you, but Adrian… I talked to Rose and Dimitri both, and they both feel like utter shit. You can see it in their eyes, how ashamed they are of the way they hurt you." He said. I shook my head.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to go to bed." I turned away from him, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"If you ever, and I mean ever leave this hotel without me at this time of night again… I will break my foot off so far up your ass you're going to be able to pull it out of your mouth. Got it, Ivashkov?" He demanded. I met his gaze. Whether the boy annoyed the hell out of me or not, he looked out for me, and wanted the best for me. I nodded once.

"Got it." I said, before showering and crawling into bed. As I laid there, staring at the ceiling, hoping for sleep to come, I did something I vowed I would never do again. I found Rose's dream, and slipped into it.


	5. As you turn away,

The moment the dream came into view, I readied myself for anything. I had no idea what I was getting into. When she came into view, I took a deep breath. She turned and met my gaze.

"Adrian." She murmured.

"Hello, Rose."

"I didn't expect to ever see you again." She admitted.

"I didn't ever expect to come see you again." She recoiled a little at my words. I knew they were hard for her to hear after everything.

"I guess I deserve that." She said. I didn't say anything. I wanted to agree and tell her all of the horrible things she deserved for what she'd done to me, what they'd done to me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. A tense silence filled the dream world around us. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"I'm sorry for the things I said this afternoon." I finally blurted. She smiled slightly, but shook her head.

"It's nice of you to try and make it easier for me to hear… but you're not sorry. Everything you said, you meant." She stopped for a second, but I could tell she was pausing to weight her next words. It wasn't my turn to speak yet. "Regardless of how hard it was for me to hear, you were right. Your words hurt, yes… and I know I deserve nothing less, but you meant it. I could tell by the look in your eyes." I was rendered speechless, not sure what to say. I finally met her gaze.

"You're right. I meant it." I murmured. She smiled slightly, but there was pain behind it. I could see it in her eyes.

"Adrian, I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but I never meant to hurt you. You were my best friend. You have to believe that much." She said. I could hear it in her voice, she was begging for my forgiveness. The color in her aura shifted from red to blue. She was hurting over what she'd done to me. Good, at least she deserved that much. Whether she deserved my forgiveness or not was a different story, but I don't think I could ever not forgive her.

"I believe that you never meant for things to turn out the way they did." I finally said.

"My intentions were never to hurt you." She murmured. I nodded.

"I believe you." I murmured. I was watching the shifts in her aura color. It was changing rapidly. The color that filled it now was a burgundy color, and I was guessing it was relief filling her.

"I am sorry Adrian. I wasn't lying when I said that." I didn't know how to respond, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"You have no idea what you did to me."

"I know, Adrian. I know how much I hurt you." She said. I shook my head.

"No, little dhampir," I said. It was the first time I'd called her that since I'd found out about her and Dimitri. "You really can't even fathom the pain, the hurt, the anguish. I was in love with you, Rose. I was seriously in love with you."

"I know." She murmured, defeat in her voice.

"You broke me."

"I know." She whispered again. I shook my head. I was having a hard time holding onto my composure. She thought she knew. She thought she understood, but she didn't. "Dimitri and I never planned on any of this. Adrian, I tried to be with you. I really did." I didn't know how to respond, so I just nodded, not really sure what to say. "Dimitri wanted to wait for me to tell you, to break up with you, and I should have. If anything blame me. I was the one that forced him into it. Dimitri has so much respect for you, Adrian. He feel's horrible about all of it, I can see it in his eyes." I just nodded again. Standing here, staring into her eyes was ripping open all the wounds that had just started to heal.

"I love you, Rose."

"I know you do." She murmured.

"I don't think it's ever going to go away."

"It usually doesn't. That why you have to understand what happened with Dimitri. The feeling of love, no matter who it is never fully goes away." She said. I felt this anger run through me then.

"That didn't give you the right to cheat on me." I said, the tone of my voice rising.

"I know, that's not what I meant." Suddenly, I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be anywhere but here. This was a mistake, and I knew that. Coming to her in this dream, was stupid on my part. I was ripping open wounds that had just started to heal, wounds that would eventually sew themselves shut, but not anytime soon now that I'd given in to this slow sadistic torture.

"I have to go."

"Adrian, wait… you don't understand," She started. I shook my head.

"I understand perfectly, Rose. I get it. You love him, you never meant for any of it to happen, you weren't meant for me the way you were meant for him, blah blah." I said. I was becoming agitated and was ready to pull myself out of this. I was surprised I'd been able to hold up this long without breaking down. I knew why I was conscious would be a different story.

"There's more to it than that, but Adrian… We miss you at court; we want you to come home."

"Home is a place you feel safe, and happy, and place you can't wait to go back to. I have no desire to come back, Rose. I can't. I won't be able to handle seeing you with him. All I'll be able to focus on is the pain, the memories, the weight of what happened, crushing me. I can't go back there."

"Adrian, it's not the same without you." She said.

"Maybe that's a good thing. It doesn't sound like Courts dying without me, and the only people who really care that I'm gone are my mother and Lissa."

"And me." She almost whimpered.

"You're always busy, you don't have time to miss me, or care that I'm gone, Rose."

"That doesn't mean I don't make time in my busy schedule of my charmed life to miss you." She said, snarkily. There was the Rose I knew, the Rose I've fallen in love with. The one I didn't want to face.

"I've got to go."

"Will I see you again?" She asked. I weighted my answer heavily before I said it.

"No, probably not. Good-bye, little dhampir." I said.

"Adrian, please do-." I cut off her plea, pushing myself out of her dream. I sat up in my bed, and rubbed my face, blinking back the tears threatening to escape. I took a few deep breaths, and laid back down, closing my eyes. All I could see was her deep brown eyes, pleading for my forgiveness behind my eyelids. It was my own stupidity that got me into this mess, so I had no choice but to endure it. I finally fell back into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke, it was to Eddie being loud in the small kitchenette of the hotel room.

"Could you be any louder? Damn Castille."

"I'm sorry Ivashkov. I forgot you don't usually wake until ten o' clock." He said, smartly. I sat up and looked at the clock to see her was right. I'd slept later than normal. I rubbed my face. "You look rough man."

"Thanks Eddie. Loving the boost of self-esteem you're giving me this morning." He looked at me for a second, and raised an eyebrow.

"Something's wrong with you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Did something happen last night?" He asked. I wasn't sure if he was referring to my disappearance after he fell asleep, or after I returned home. Regardless, I shook my head. I heard a beep and pulled my cell phone out of the duffle bag next to my bed to see I had a missed call from Rose. I hit the end button and threw it back into my bag. I knew if I didn't make a clean break from her, now that I'd gotten pretty much everything out of my system, I'd never fully heal.

"I have this really strong feeling you're lying, but I'm not going to force it out of you." He said, turning around, making his cup of coffee.

"God, Eddie… I hate your reverse psychology bullshit." I muttered, running a hand through my hair. He grinned.

"It normally works on you. Now, I know something's wrong, so tell me." He said. I growled slightly and climbed out of bed.

"I went to Rose last night."

"You dream walked her?" I nodded.

"You said you weren't ever-." I cut him off.

"I know what I said, but… I had some things I needed to say, and that I needed to hear. It's a long story and I don't want to talk about it."

"Are you… are you okay?" He asked. I looked up and met his eyes. His aura shifted to pink, obviously meaning he felt sympathetic towards me. I didn't want anyone's sympathy. I'd brought this on myself, no doubt. I didn't deserve anyone's sympathy. I deserved to wallow in my own self-pity.

"Do I look okay?" I asked. I knew my eyes were bloodshot, and the bags that had been under my eyes for the past few weeks were probably worse now that they'd ever been before. I'd messed up last night, giving into my own selfish desires to see her one last time.

"You look like someone beat you with a bat." He finally said. I nodded.

"That's what I thought." I told him. I grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom, getting a quick shower and getting dressed. As I got out, and looked in the mirror I saw exactly what he meant. My eyes were bloodshot, just like I'd guessed, and the bags under my eyes from not sleeping became worse with last night's tortured sleep. I did my hair, not really bothering much with how it looked. I walked out, and threw my dirty clothes on the ground by my bed.

"Is there any coffee left? Or did you drink it all… again?" I asked, turning to look at Eddie. He smiled.

"I saved you some, Ivashkov." He muttered. I nodded and walked over, pouring myself a cup.

"So, what happened with you and Rose last night, if you don't mind me asking?" The truth was, I did mind him asking. I sat down in a chair against the wall and sipped my coffee.

"I was an idiot to have done that. I knew better. Why I did it, I'll never begin to understand."

"Like I said, the only explanation I can come up with for everything you've done is that you love her, I mean… what else is there?" He asked. I knew he was right.

"I told her good-bye." I murmured.

"Forever?" I nodded once.

"So, you don't ever plan on going back?"

"No." I said.

"Adrian, we can't live like this… out of a hotel room forever." He said.

"I know. We'll migrate… get an apartment somewhere, something like that. We don't have to stay here."

"Adrian, you can't keep running from you-." I shook my head.

"Do not tell me what I should and shouldn't do Castille. You're here to protect me, not to give me life lessons." I almost growled at him. I wasn't usually so ill-tempered with Eddie, but this was not the morning I wanted to listen to his Zen life lesson bullshit.

"You're running because you're scared." He said. I was on my feet.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I snapped.

"Don't I? I've been here, by your side through the whole thing. I know exactly what I'm talking about." He said. I shook my head.

"You're an idiot. Don't try to understand, or comprehend Eddie. You wouldn't get it."

"You make it seem like you're the only one who's ever lost something." Eddie said, face serious now.

"God, Eddie… Mason was your friend, not someone you were in-." He cut me off. I hated it when he did that. He was doing it frequently now.

"No, what you're doing is being selfish. Whether I was in love with the person I lost or not, it was still a loss and it still hurts. The thing you don't understand is that Mason is dead. My best friend…. He's dead. Yeah, you got cheated on, yeah… that shit sucks, but you know what... Atleast Rose is alive. She's not gone forever. Regardless of how you feel towards her now, she's still here… You can still see her and hold her. She's tangible. Mason's not. Don't talk to me about loss, Adrian. I've experienced it in its fullest form." Once he was done, I felt like shit. He did this to me a lot. He'd turn whatever I was feeling around to make me seem like the selfish one, which was completely true. In this case, the way he explained it… I was selfish. I was selfish to mourn a loss of someone that was still alive when Mason was dead, so many people I loved were dead too though. Did he not get that?

"I know you have, Eddie… but-." He shook his head.

"IF you loved Rose Hathaway like you said you did… you would want her to be happy, whether that includes you or not."

"I can't just-."

"You can, but you're scared and you're being a coward." My upset mood turned to anger once again.

"You don't know anything about me." I growled at him.

"You have no spine. You're not even fighting back. You know what I think would have bothered her most of all? Is if you acted like it didn't bother you… pretending that what she did to you have absolutely no affect on you at all, what so ever."

"I couldn't do that."

"Because you're weak." He said. He didn't know his words were like daggers to my soul, but I took them anyway, unflinching at the pain his words caused. It was silent for a few seconds, before I looked up at him.

"I know I am. I've always been. That's why she doesn't want me. I'm weak. I'm a snobby, royal, moroi who doesn't deserve anything close to what she is. She's perfection and I'm so far from It."

"Rose isn't perfect. You-of all people-know that much."

"She's amazing, and beautiful, and kind… and she's so strong, and look at me. I do nothing. I sit around and mope. I take no action to make my life better… I just make it worse."

"We'll get you back together man… I promise." Eddie said. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back against the wall, taking a deep breath.

"I hope you're right."

"So, what happened last night at the bar when you snuck off?" He asked. I honestly think Castille is bi-polar… just putting that out there.

"Nothing. I ended up leaving a few minutes after I got there, long story… don't want to talk about it." I said, making it very clear I didn't want him to bring it up again. Most of the time, Eddie was all for conversations I didn't want to have. Well, I really didn't want to have this one.

"Nothing happened, did it?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No… it was a mistake going back. I knew that much. I don't know why I did it."

"Because you're an idiot." He muttered. Rage filled me then.

"I'm sick of this third-degree you've been giving me all morning, Eddie. If you don't have anything good to fucking say… don't speak." I said, turning my back to him.

"Look, I'm sorry." He said. "You scared the shit out of me last night when I woke up and you were gone."

"If you could handle your alcohol better, we wouldn't have had the problem." I told him, giving him my smart-ass smirk. He rolled his eyes.

"Are we going out again tonight? I'll prove you wrong. I can have good time without drinking. I only drink to put up with you."

"Am I driving you to drink Castille?" He nodded once and smirked at me.

"Speaking of, where are we going tonight?" He asked.

"Want to try a change of scenery?" I asked, answering his question with a question.

"Sure." He said.

"How about a club? There's one right down the road from our bar, and if it's lame… We'll go back there." He nodded.

"Sounds good to me. Do you think you'll see Sabrina tonight?" I hadn't actually thought about her since our run in last night. I hadn't meant to snap at her the way I had, and I wondered how she'd respond to seeing me again. I needed to apologize, and make things better with her. I'd felt bad that all the frustration I'd had from that day had been turned into a stupid move, and smart ass comment to someone I didn't want to be mean to. I grabbed a pair of dark jeans and a nice button-up white shirt, and heading into the bathroom to get dressed. I did my hair, actually making a little effort to look nice tonight. When I walked out of the bathroom, Eddie was rolling up the sleeves of his uniform.

"Haven't seen you dress up in awhile." He said. I shrugged. I really couldn't explain why I was trying so hard tonight. I just wanted to look decent. He grabbed his stake which I'd given back to him last night, and shoved it into his pocket, before we started out for the club.


	6. Fix you!

When we walked in, I could already tell it was going to be a good night. Apparently, it had been ladies night, and the place was filled with mostly women. I could tell a lot of them were moroi and some dhampirs. I could tell a guardian from a mile away after being with Rose and Eddie for so long. There were also a lot of humans, although I was pretty used to them by now. We sat down at a table in the back, and watched as people danced and laughed. Eddie went and got us both drinks as I sat there, staring out into the crowd of people. A girl walked up to the table, who looked vaguely familiar.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" She asked. I stared up at her, and smiled.

"It's very possible, although I have a well known face." I said, adding my usual snark and charm. She giggled.

"My names Olivia." It was then I realized where I knew her from. I'd met her at the Ski Lodge last Christmas. I knew the reason it took me so long to realize it was because that was also when I'd met Rose, and the memories of our first encounter over-rode everything else that Christmas. Her being brought into my life was the best thing anyone could have given to me.

"I'm Adrian. I know where I met you. You were at the Ski Lodge last Christmas, weren't you?" She nodded. "That's where it was."

"Would you like to dance?" She asked.

"Olivia, what's taking you so-." The girl that had approached the table, stopped when she saw me and Eddie. "Oops, I'm sorry to interrupt."

"No, it's okay. Adrian, would you like to dance?"

"Sure." I said, getting up from the table. The girl who'd come up a second ago had her eyes on Eddie. I noticed him trying not to make it obvious that he was looking at her too. I extended my hand for Olivia to take it. She smiled and slipped her hand into mine. As we started out onto the floor, I heard the other girl ask Eddie if he wanted to dance. I chuckled to myself as I whirled her out under the flashing lights of the dance floor. It'd been awhile since I'd danced in a club, but I quickly fell back into the hang of it. As I danced with her, I found myself actually having a good time. We eventually split, and I tangled myself into the group of people dancing, swaying and grinding with random people. Hey, I was an Ivashkov; it was in my nature anyway, might as well live up to my name. As I weaved in and out of people, dancing with the pretty ones, and avoiding most humans, I could have sworn I spotted Sabrina from across the crowd. I started towards her, trying to move with the crowd, but she disappeared. I gave up my search, and found another dhampir girl, dancing with her for awhile. I made my way back to Olivia before I saw her again. I started towards her, and as she started to walk into the arms of another to dance with, I stepped in front of her, spinning her around and swaying her to the music.

"Hmm, I didn't know you could dance." She said.

"There's a lot you don't know about me." I admitted. She looked down at her feet and back up at me.

"Look, Adrian… If I did something to upset you yesterday, I'm sorry. You made a mistake coming back without Eddie. You could have been hurt, and I know you know that." She said. I shook my head at her.

"No, you were right. I knew what a risk I was taking. I shouldn't have come back without him. I'm sorry I snapped at you and got upset with you the way I did. You didn't deserve that." I said, looking away. She giggled.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you apologize for anything other than something stupid, like being sexy." She told me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Was that a compliment?"

"Definitely not." She countered. I nodded.

"I'm taking it that way." She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever."

"Don't take it from me." I told her. She smirked at me, and shook her head.

"I've been dancing for awhile. You want to sit down?" She asked. I nodded as she grabbed my hand, leading me out of the crowd of dancing people and to an empty table in the corner. I had to admit, the touch of her hand sent a tingle straight up my arm. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to it. When we reached the table, I pulled out her chair for her. She sat and so did I. In the dim light, her blue eyes shined like crystals. It was hard not to notice.

"So, what are you doing here? Where's Voda?"

"This is my last day off duty." She said.

"Sucks for you… Back to court with the snobby royals." I told her.

"It can't be as bad as being here with you." She smarted, smirking slightly at me. I shook my head at her, knowing she didn't mean it.

"You know, if my ego wasn't so big… That might have actually hurt me."

"I don't think anything could hurt that ego of yours." She said. If only she knew how wrong she really was. It was strange, because I remember comparing every girl I'd danced with all night with Rose, looking for similarities, and differences, things that they shared, but with Sabrina, I found myself just reveling in her presence, not comparing her to Rose at all. Sabrina was a beauty all her own.

"You might be right." I said.

"Where's Eddie?"

"Mingling somewhere, hopefully behaving himself." I said. She nodded.

"Babysitting him? Isn't it his job to watch after you?"

"He needs taking care of sometimes." I told her.

"Did he know you left last night without him?" I laughed.

"He was practically standing at the door when I walked in. It was like I was a teenager again, sneaking in past curfew."

"I doubt you had a curfew as a teenager, Ivashkov."

"Touché." I said, nodding. She smiled at me, lighting up the dim corner we were sitting in. It was hard not to notice, and I looked away to keep from staring.

"So, how are you, Adrian?" She asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm great, how are you Guardian Merlon." She wrinkled her nose.

"Don't call me that."

"You called me Lord Ivashkov the other day. It's only fair I address you by your title." She wrinkled her nose again, and rolled her eyes. "Awe, you don't like it?" I asked.

"I hate it. It's what Logan calls me when he's upset with me." She tucked her hair behind her ear, and the bruise that had been there the last time I saw her was even darker and more visible this time. I wanted to ask about it, but I was scared.

"He's a dick. I don't like the way he talks to you."

"He talks to me like most moroi talk to their guardians." She said. She was wrong. Lissa never talked to Rose like that, and I was next to positive Christian never talked to Dimitri like that. I never talked to Eddie like that either.

"I'd have to disagree. He treats you like a slave."

"Isn't that what most of us are?" She asked. I was caught off guard by her question. I just stared at her. "I mean, after all… I throw my body, my life between any danger and his. I'm supposed to help him, keep him safe, and make sure he stays alive. Slave and Guardian pretty much have the same definition." She said.

"Have you ever met any other guardians and their moroi? None of them talk to their guardian like that."

"Logan and I are different." She said, bitter edge to her voice. She tossed her hair as she looked away from me, revealing the entire bruise on her neck and collar bone. It was a dark, deep purple and looked painful. I couldn't help my reaction.

"Sabrina," I murmured, she must have followed my gaze, and realized what I was looking at. "What happened?" I asked, trying to make it sound like I wasn't probing, but trying to make sure she was okay.

"It was from a strigoi fight I got in." She said.

"When?"

"Yesterday." She murmured. She was at court yesterday, and after that she was at the bar. If there were strigoi in the area, Eddie would have been alerted. Also, the bruise had been there two days ago, when I'd gone to court. She was lying to me. I met her gaze, and nodded. I wasn't going to push it out of her though, so I blurted the next thing that came into my mind.

"I can fix it." I said.

"What?"

"I'm a spirit user. I can heal it, make it go away. Then, you won't have to try so hard and hide it with your hair. With your attitude, your hair doesn't work anyway. You move your head to much when you talk." This at least got a smile out of her.

"You'd do that for me?"

"I'm such a generous guy… I mean, I'm not some kind of snobby royal." I said, waving a hand dismissively. She shook her head at me.

"You're something else." She told me. I nodded.

"I'm very aware of that, but you didn't answer my question."

"What?" She asked.

"I can heal it." I said. She met my gaze for a second, and her aura shifted colors, bleeding from a deep red and gold it normally was to a deep, and dark blue. There was more to it than a simple strigoi attack. I could see that.

"I'll be fine. It'll go away." She said, letting her fingers trace the dark purple color.

"But it looks like it hurts. Please, let me fix it." I said. I hadn't used my magic in awhile, and since I'd left court, I hadn't felt really needed. I hadn't felt like I could do anything to help anyone. I just sat around, wallowing in self-pity, and wasn't really of us to anyone. I could be of use to her. She just stared at me for a second, but shook her head.

"I'm tough."

"I don't doubt that." I told her.

"Good, cause I'll show you otherwise." She said. I didn't doubt it, but was still disappointed. It was now; I realized she had one thing in common with Rose. She didn't like having to be helped. She'd endure pain and suffering if it meant dealing with it on her own. She loved being the hero, and I could see now that Sabrina did as well. We sat in silence for awhile, before she spoke again. "How come you're not around Court anymore?"

"Too many snobby royals for my taste." I said, mocking her playfully, giving her my best smart-ass smirk.

"Watch it, Ivashkov." I rolled my eyes. "You're avoiding the question." She said.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked. She looked away from the table.

"I've heard a lot of rumors. I don't believe any of it… I mean, it is coming from a bunch of snobby royals and their guardians, so I really haven't looked into it much, but I'm curious. I thought Court was your home." I shook my head.

"Not anymore."

"How come?" She asked, obviously intrigued by my lack of responses now. I should have known with her living at court that it would come up sooner or later. Things got around court quick, and I knew things spread like wildfire there.

"It's a long story… and I'm not-."

"Comfortable talking about it." She said, nodding slightly. "I get it." I felt bad for not telling her, but I wasn't sure I could. I wasn't sure I wanted her or anyone else for that matter to know. She hadn't been involved, so why bring it up to her now. She yawned.

"Tired Merlon?" I asked. She shook her head.

"I didn't sleep well last night."

"How come?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know." She admitted. I nodded. I wondered what she'd do if I ever dream-walked her. I wondered if she'd react to it the way Rose did, when I first dream-walked her. It would be an experience to say the least. She looked at her watch, and sighed.

"I should probably get going. I have to wake up early for work in the morning." I nodded.

"I'll walk you to your car." She looked like she wanted to tell me no, and I saw a shift in her aura, but it wasn't something so juristic that I could tell what it meant. Finally, she nodded as we got up. I walked her outside and to one of the vans that belonged to Court. I didn't miss that place at all, not to mention I didn't miss their shitty taste in vehicles.

"When will I see you again?" I asked, obviously catching her by surprise with my question.

"The next time Logan wants to come out, or next time I'm off duty."

"Which comes first?"

"Logan. I'm not off duty again for another three weeks." She told me, grimacing at the thought.

"Guardian's work too much."

"Tell me about it." She muttered. I noticed she made no move hiding the bruise on her neck now, knowing I knew about it. I met her eyes for a second, and wondered what she'd do if I made a move to heal it anyway. It looked seriously painful, and for some reason… I couldn't stand the thought of her hurt. I took a step forward to test what her reaction would be. She didn't move away, so I slowly reached up, and let my finger tips glide across her silky skin where the black and purple mark was, letting my magic course through me, into her. I watched as the mark slowly disappeared. Her eyes never left my face, as I healed her. When I stepped away, she smiled and reached up, touching her neck.

"Thank you, I-." I shook my head.

"Don't mention it. It's the least I could do. You saved my life once."

"Your right, I did." She said. I smiled.

"I'll see you around then."

"If you're lucky." She murmured, giving me that sexy, smart-ass grin of hers. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Goodnight Sabrina." I said, taking her hand and kissing it. When I released her, she stepped forward and kissed my cheek, before opening the car door.

"Goodnight Adrian." She almost whispered, before getting into the car. I turned, and walked back into the club, finding Eddie standing by the door.

"You ready to go?" I asked him.

"In such a hurry to leave now that your girl is gone?" He asked me, smirking.

"You saw the whole thing, didn't you?" He nodded once.

"Nosey ass."

"You know, I had to make sure you made it back in here safe. I didn't want to watch you make-out with her." He snapped.

"I didn't even kiss her." I growled. I wished I had, I wasn't going to lie. It would definitely be the most action I've gotten in awhile; at least that I would be able to remember. A lot of those nights were easily forgotten with vodka and scotch. I shook my head.

"If your not ready, that's fine, but-." He cut me off, smiling.

"We can go."

"What? Why do you keep smiling at me?" I demanded. He shook his head.

"No reason." He said, before walking out. I growled at the spot he'd been standing and followed him out to the van.


	7. To the place where I belong!

When we got back to the hotel, I changed out of my clothes and sat down in the chair beside my bed, pouring me a glass of vodka. Eddie sat down watching TV, as I sat there.

"Your in an extremely good mood. What's going on?"

"Nothing, and how do you know when I'm in a good mood, I've barely said anything." I said.

"I can tell by your face." He said. I rolled my eyes. "So, I take it you and Sabrina are all chummy now."

"We're friends."

"You want to be more though." I shook my head quickly, wanting to punch him in the face for his assumption.

"Wrong. I don't want to be more than that to anyone… ever again. I won't get hurt again." I told him. It was true. I gave my heart to Rose, and in return… I got a kick to the balls when she got back. It wouldn't be happening again. I wasn't giving myself away that easily this time. I finished off my glass, and crawled into bed, turning off the lamp in between us.

"Oh, I know what's going on now."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You wanted to come home early and go to bed so you could dream walk Rose again, didn't you?" He asked. As smart as I always thought Eddie was… sometimes, he could be so oblivious. I shook my head anyway.

"No… I won't ever make that mistake again." I said, rolling over. As soon as I felt sleep starting to take over, and went searching for her dream, until I found it and maneuvered myself in. We were standing in the middle of court, which was a weird place to put us, I'll admit. She was sitting on the couch in the main lobby.

"Hello there." I said.

"Ivashkov, didn't think I'd see you so soon." She admitted.

"Well, you got lucky." I said, snarkily. She smirked.

"So, this is what it's like to be dream-walked, huh?" I raised an eyebrow. I didn't think she'd know. I had no idea she knew that I could even do it.

"How'd you know?"

"Court's grapevine is pretty long." She told me. I nodded. _Of course. _

"Who told you?"

"Guardian Belikov." She said. I had to fight back the growl that was threatening to escape my chest. The man was already involved with the woman I loved, but if that wasn't enough, no… He had to tell other people things that I didn't want them to know about me.

"Why were ya'll talking about me?" I blurted.

"Aren't you what everyone talks about?" She asked, snark thick in her voice. It caused me to smile, and shake my head.

"You're avoiding the question."

"You're parents guardian brought you up, wondering where you were."

"My parents know where I am… sort of." I admitted.

"Well, no one else really does." She said. I was looking at her, trying to find color changes in her aura, but I couldn't see them. If she knew something, I'd be able to see it.

"What else did they say?"

"Did you used to be friends with Guardian Hathaway?" She asked. I fought back the shudder at her name, and nodded once. She was weighting my reaction before she nodded.

"Why?" I asked, wondering what Rose had said or done to make her come to that conclusion.

"She talks highly of you." She said. I met her gaze.

"She does?" Sabrina nodded.

"She told them they needed to stop worrying, and you were a big boy and could take care of yourself. I wouldn't so much agree with the last part sometimes, but you've got people that look out for you."

"You being one of them." I said. She nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose I look out for you more than I should." She said. I smiled slightly, but still it hurt to hear her talking about me, after I accused her of saying I was weak and couldn't take care of myself a few days ago. She reached up and touched her collarbone, letting her fingers trace over the olive skin that was now no longer covered in purple and black bruises. She smiled.

"I know I said thank you, but… I really appreciate what you did for me."

"It wasn't a problem. I'm used to it." I admitted.

"I'm still grateful." She said. We stood there for a second, in silence. "Do you miss this place?" She asked, looking around. The truth was, I did miss court. I missed my home more than anything, but I didn't miss the feelings it brought out in me, the pain it reminded me of. I couldn't go back there.

"At times, but not enough to make me go back."

"I don't blame you. This place is nothing but drama and pain." She said. My head snapped up, almost as if she'd pulled the thought right out of my head.

"I agree."

"If I could get out, I would." She said.

"Why don't you?"

"Because I have a moroi who lives here… You know that." She said, as if it were the most obvious thing.

"He has another guardian. Just leave… You could use a break."

"I had a two day break." She said.

"Two days isn't long enough for what you guardians have to endure for months, and the way Logan treats you-." I cut myself off, not wanting to step on any toes the way I normally did when my mouth got running before my brain could think about the consequences of what I was going to say.

"He isn't a bad guy, Adrian."

"Wrong. I've met him… He's a dick to everyone, not just you." I told her. She sighed, and looked away. I didn't understand why she kept defending him. "Have you ever heard me talk to Eddie that way? Or at Court, ever heard Lissa talk to Rose like that, or Lord Ozera to Guardian… Belikov." I had to force his name out. It made me want to hit something just to say it.

"I've already told you, Adrian… Logan and I are different." She said, still refusing to look at me.

"You know I'm right."

"You don't know anything, Ivashkov. You don't know me, or what I've been through, what I've seen. You know nothing about me except my name and where I live. You don't understand Logan the way I do. You don't get it, now let it go." She said, bitter edge in her voice once again. I didn't understand why she defended him.

"Logan Voda is a self-righteous lunatic, who cares about nothing other than himself and his own feelings. He's boring, and a loser, because no one cares about his families' race, and he hates it. He's trying to get them back on the map, but it's not working. He's a dick to you when you're working for him, and the way he talks to you pisses me off so bad, I could hit him in the face. If I wasn't scared of hurting my hands, I would." I said. She was staring at me, obviously caught off guard by my rant. When I was done, I shook my head.

"You want to talk about people who care about nothing but their selves? Look at you, Adrian. You're staying in a hotel room in town, all because of some bullshit that went on here. I don't know if it's just me, but that seems pretty selfish when your best friends and family are here at court, and miss you immensely. I don't know what happened, and maybe I don't want to know, but running from it, isn't the answer." I saw her aura shift from gold to grey in a split second. I could tell the last words weren't for me alone. She meant them for herself as well.

"You don't know anything about me." I said.

"You're right." She snapped. "I don't." She stood up, and started pacing the floor of the lobby. I could see I'd upset her. I sighed.

"Look, I didn't mean to talk about Logan like that. I'm sorry if I-." She shook her head at me.

"Don't. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it… don't try and take it back now." She told me.

"Why do you defend him? Sabrina, you can't look me in the eye and tell me he doesn't treat you like a slave. The way he talks to you, orders you around like your nothing makes my blood boil." I told her. She looked up, but she wouldn't look me in the eye.

"So, Logan and I's relationship has had its bumps, and he's not always the nicest person in the world, but we have an understanding." She said.

"And what's that?" I asked. She shook her head.

"It's a long story."

"I've got time." I told her. She looked away from me, and sighed.

"My dad was killed defending Logan's father and mother. My dad made me promise that if anything ever happened to him, I had to protect their family, no matter what. It was the last thing I ever promised my father… and I can't let him down. I've been Logan's guardian ever since." She said. After she was done, she was staring down at her feet.

"Sabrina, I'm-." She shook her head.

"I hate the way he treats me, but I can't let my father down, Adrian… I can't. You don't understand what it's like being under this promise. I can't break it. It'll kill me." She said. I stared at her, not sure what to say. When she looked up, a stray year slowly rolled down her face. I took a few steps towards her, and wiped it away.

"I'm so sorry, Sabrina." I murmured. I didn't know what else to say. I'd had no idea it was anything like that.

"It wasn't always like this. Logan and I used to be best friends, we even dated for awhile. He used to be sweet, and funny, but as he's grown up… he's turned more and more into his father." She said. I took her face in my hands.

"It'll get better." I said, sincerely hoping things would get better for her.

"When I threaten to leave, because I'm so sick of his shit, he reminds me what I promised my dad. He makes me feel guilty. He tells me how much I'd be disappointing them, and they'd hate me, and I know it's not true, but it hurts to think about, and then I can't force myself to leave." She said. I felt so horrible after what she'd just told me. I was running from my problems, hiding out in a hotel room all because I didn't want to face Rose, to see her live happily ever after, but here Sabrina was, not able to outrun her problems at all, scared she'd be letting her parents down. Eddie was right. If I loved Rose, I'd want her to be happy, whether it included me or not. I couldn't keep running. She looked up at me.

"I hate it, but I live it because I have no choice." She said. I shook my head.

"You should have a choice. This isn't fair to you."

"I won't run from this. I made this promise, I have to keep it." She said. I moved a piece of hair out of her hand, marveling at how soft it was on my finger tips.

"He doesn't deserve to have a guardian like you." She looked down, obviously keeping something to herself. There was something she wasn't willing to share, and I could tell. I didn't press for it though. I pulled her face up to look at me. "You remember that." She just nodded. Without thinking about it, I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, before letting the dream world fade around us. The moment I woke, I realized Eddie was already awake. It was today, right now that I realized what I had to do. Eddie turned to me when I sat up.

"You're up early."

"Get dressed, and get your things." I said.

"Where are we going?" He asked, confused and tired expression on his face.

"Home." I answered simply.

"To court?" He asked. I nodded.

"It's time to go home."

"And you came to this decision, how?"

"I just realized I'm tired of running from my problems. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger… or suicidal, but that's beside the point. I'm ready to go home." I said. He just nodded. We both showered, and changed and hauled our things out to the car. I would probably never admit it to her, but Sabrina had definitely inspired me to come home. When we got to court, I hauled my things back to my room as Eddie did the same. After that, I was off to the throne room to find Lissa. When I walked in, her and Christian were sitting, talking quietly among themselves, even though the room was empty.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Christian said.

"Adrian?" Lissa said, jumping out of my Aunt's throne, and running towards me.

"Guess whose back." I said, right before she launched herself into my arms. I laughed as I encircled my arms around her waist.

"Your back? And staying?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm home."

"God, I'm so glad you're back, I've missed you too much." She said.

"I've missed you too, and it's strange. It feels good to be home."

"It's good to have you back, Ivashkov. Place hasn't really been the same without you." Christian said. I smiled.

"I know. Your lives just got ten times better now that I'm back."

"Yeah, keep thinking that." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"I figured this is where you'd end up." Eddie said. I turned and nodded.

"I had to come see my favorite cousin." I told him.

"Favorite cousin?" Lissa asked, smiling.

"Yes, your majesty." I said, bowing a little. She slapped me.

"Knock it off. I hate that people call me that now. It's still so weird."

"But secretly, she loves it." Christian said.

"Do not." She exclaimed. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye, and looked up to see Rose leaning up against Lissa's throne, watching our little exchange. Everyone turned to look at her. Lissa's eyes fell on me then, but she didn't say anything. My heart lurched the moment I met her deep brown eyes. Her aura was all sorts of crazy, all kinds of colors mixing into one, but the darkness that always tinged the outer layers was still there. I took a few steps forward.

"Hello Rose." I said, fighting to keep my voice even.

"Adrian." She murmured, her velvet voice sending shivers up my spine. She took a few steps forward, coming towards me, but stopped when I looked up to find Dimitri in the place she'd once been. "I thought you said-." I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter anymore." I finally whispered. Dimitri's aura shifted to a light green. I could see the guilt in his eyes as they fell on me.

"It's good to see you again, Adrian." Dimitri said. I nodded at him once. Rose looked from Dimitri, back to me, and came forward, stopping right in front of me. Being in such a close proximity to her made my heart skip a few beats, and then pick up into overdrive. She met my eyes for a second, and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me. I hesitated for a moment, before winding my arms around her waist, and hugging her tight to my chest. I missed this. God, I miss it more than anything in the world. I missed the way her body curved into mine, I missed the way she felt on my skin, I missed everything about her.

"I'm glad you're home." She murmured softly into my ear. I nodded.

"I've missed you." I answered simply, not caring that Dimitri probably heard me. I forced myself to release her and step away. I took a deep breath. Dimitri's eyes were on me and I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Guardian Belikov." I said, nodding my head. I still thought he was a cradle-robbing, girlfriend stealing, Russian son-of-bitch, but if I expected to live here again, I had to attempt to make amends. I use the term amends loosely. I didn't forgive him for sleeping with her while

"Hello Adrian." He said, nodding slightly. "Can I speak to you… alone for a moment?" He asked.

"Sure."

"We'll give you guys a minute." Lissa said, grabbing Christian and Eddie and heading for the door. Once they were gone, I felt strangely vulnerable. Dimitri looked at Rose, and smiled.

"Will you give us a minute?"

"Are you-?" She started. He nodded once. She met my gaze for a second, and walked out. If there was one thing I really didn't want in this moment, it was being left alone in a room with the man who stole the love of my life.


	8. Call your name!

When Rose finally exited, I looked up to see Dimitri's gaze had gone to the floor.

"Adrian, I-." I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"It's okay, Belikov. I get it."

"No, Adrian… You're wrong. It isn't okay. Don't think it's okay with me that I pursued your girl. It's not. I hate myself for it." He said. As much as I hated the man before me, I believed him. I could see the guilt in his aura and his eyes.

"Tell me something Belikov, if you could go back and do it different, would you?" I asked. I watched as so many emotions crossed his face, before he reined them in, and his guardian mask became prevalent.

"No, I wouldn't do it differently." He admitted. I fought back the urge to wince, but instead I nodded once.

"Thank you for at least being honest with me." I said, happy that he'd done that much.

"And my reason for that has nothing to do with you. It's her… you have no idea how-."

"I don't want to hear about how much you love her, and how irresistible she is. Trust me, I've heard and I know." I said, snapping at him.

"I have so much respect for you, Adrian… I really do. I feel horrible about the way things turned out."

"I know you do." I said, trying not to sound sarcastic when I said it.

"She does love you, Adrian." I looked up and met his gaze then.

"You don't know how much I wish it were enough. If you would have given me some time, stuck with your 'my love faded' bullshit, I could have made her happy. We could have been together like-." He nodded.

"I know. I don't doubt that for a second. I know you love her, Adrian. You being here right now is proof of that. I don't expect your forgiveness, nor do I want it, but I want you to know that I not sorry for what happened. I'm sorry for the way it happened. We should have told you sooner, we should have-." I shook my head.

"If we're being honest, I can tell you right now I'll never forgive you. I'm not even sure how to start forgiving Rose, but Belikov… I lost all respect for you." I said. He nodded.

"I don't deserve your respect anymore." He said.

"I'm glad you know." I told him. He nodded once, and turned to walk out the door Rose and the other had exited out of. I quickly slipped out the back door, wanting to get away from the chaos I'd just walked back into. I walked around the back of court, and started to walk back in when I saw something sitting on the bench off in the distance. I stood there for a second, before I realized it was Jill. I started that way, and smiled as I reached her.

"Hey there Jailbait." She looked up, and her face lit up a bit as she saw me.

"Adrian." She wrapped her arms around my waist. "I heard you were back, but I didn't believe it."

"How are you kid?" I asked. She released me, and looked down.

"I've been better, but I'm okay." She admitted.

"How's being a princess work-." She cut me off before I could finish.

"I'm not a princess."

"I actually think you are. You're the sister of the queen."

"I don't want to be a princess. All those little girls who said they wanted to be one when they grew up are freaking stupid." She said.

"Someone's gotten saucier since I last saw them." I said. She giggled and turned a little red. She was still that timid, and shy little girl I remembered when I'd left this place behind.

"This princess and royal crap is getting on my last nerve."

"It can be pretty tiring."

"It's freaking ridiculous." She said. I nodded. "Where have you been?" She asked.

"Out, taking care of some things."

"I heard you left because of Rose."

"Anything else you've heard that I should know about?" I asked, my mood plummeting even more.

"No, but I'm sorry about what happened." She said.

"Thanks." I said, not sure what else to say. She nodded.

"The way I look at it, she was an idiot." I knew she was only fifteen, but hearing someone besides Eddie say it made my heart swell. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said. I sighed. "Look, I've got to go. I'll see you around Jill." She giggled.

"What?" I asked.

"You called me Jill." I smiled.

"Sorry Jailbait." I said, before walking inside. As I started towards the Ivashkov wing, I cut through the Voda wing, hoping I'd run into her, but I didn't. As I started into my room, Eddie called my name. I stopped and looked up.

"Hey, where'd you disappear to?"

"I was ready to get out of there. Atmosphere was to tense." I told him. He nodded.

"I don't blame you." He admitted. "What'd Dimitri say to you?"

"He just told me how sorry he was and how much he wished things had happened differently, and all that. Shit I have heard a million times." I said.

"And what'd you say to most of it."

"Whatever came to mind." I admitted. He rolled his eyes.

"So now I have to protect you from Dimitri?"

"No, we're cool." I said. He nodded.

"Good." He said. I was silent for a second, before I walked inside, with him following. "How are you holding up?"

"Better than I planned, to be honest." I said. I really wanted to see Sabrina, but I had no clue how to find her. I thought about knocking on Logan's door, but I wasn't sure she was there and I had no idea where her room was.

"I'm glad you're holding up okay."

"Me too." I admitted.

"You seem distracted." He said.

"I'm fine."

"What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said.

"Sabrina?" He asked. My head snapped up, wondering how he knew that. I quickly looked away.

"No. Why would you-." He cut me off.

"Don't give me that crap, Adrian. I know better."

"Whatever. Yeah, I kind of want to talk to her." I admitted. He smirked.

"I'm so good. I'm learning to read you, Ivashkov." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Can you help me or not?" I asked. He smiled.

"I'll be back. I can find out what room she's in." He said. He started towards the door, but stopped. "Your not going to like… stalk her or anything, are you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Go find out what damn room she's in." I snapped. He chuckled, and disappeared. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a glass and my bottle of vodka, and poured me one, needing a pick-me-up. I'd been back at court for at least two hours and this was my first drink. I was proud. I finished it right as Eddie came back. She's in room six-twenty. I nodded.

"I'll be back later." I said.

"Behave." He told me. I rolled my eyes as I started across court to the guardian wing. I sincerely hoped she was there. After last night, I felt I needed to see her face to face. When I knocked, no one answered. I waited for a few more seconds, and heard what sounded like someone get up and come to the door.

"What do you-?" She cut herself off when she met my gaze. "Adrian." She murmured.

"Hey."

"What… what are you doing here?" She asked.

"I live here." I said, smirking slightly.

"You… you came back? I thought-." I shook my head.

"This is my home." I said. "Actually you inspired me to come back." I told her. Her face fell slightly.

"Would you like to come in?" I nodded as she opened the door, allowing me to step inside. Her room was the same normal layout that just about all the other rooms here in court were, but strangely… I felt comfortable here.

"Adrian, what I said about you being selfish… you didn't have too-." I automatically realized what she meant. She'd called me selfish because I was living in the city while my friends here missed me. Yeah, it cut a little deep, but it wasn't the reason I came back.

"It had nothing to do with that, to be honest. People call me selfish all the time, Eddie in particular." I said, smirking slightly.

"Then, what?"

"When you told me about the promise you made your father, how you stay with Voda because you feel obligated to, not because you wanted to, it made me realize I was being a coward. I was running from my problems, where you stay right besides yours, no matter what. I realized that no matter how I feel about this place, or the people I was trying to avoid by leaving, this is my home… and if I ever want to be strong… I have to learn to face them." I told her. When I looked up to meet her eyes, I realized that she actually looked a little rough. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked like she'd tossed and turned all night. She didn't say anything. She walked over to her couch and sat down. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night." Automatically, I felt guilty.

"Sabrina, I'm sorry. I-." She cut me off.

"No, it wasn't your fault. I was barely sleeping when you showed up. If anything you helped me sleep longer." She said. I could see in her eyes she was lying. I didn't comment on it though. She rubbed her arm, causing the sleeve of her shirt to life the slightest bit. Underneath it, I could see a hint of purple and blue on her arm.

"What is that?" I asked, walking over towards her.

"What?"' She asked, meeting my gaze.

"On your arm. Is that another bruise?" I asked her. I was seriously starting to question what was really going on, like I was missing some big picture.

"Oh, it's nothing. I ran-. I ran into the door this morning when I woke up. I bruise easily." She fumbled, trying to find an excuse. I didn't believe her in the slightest, although I nodded as if I did.

"Do you want me too-." She shook her head.

"I'll live, Adrian. It's just a bruise."

"I know, but still…" I said. She shook her head.

"I'll be fine." I just nodded. I walked around the room, looking at pictures, and things on her wall. "You're room has such a homey feel to it. Mines like a prison."

"Have you ever been to prison?"

"No, but I've inside of a prison."

"Then you have no idea what you're talking about." She said, smirking. I rolled my eyes and went to sit down next to her. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad your back." She said. I smiled.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but… I'm glad to be back… sort of." I said. It was quiet for a minute, before she looked at me.

"I sort of blew up at you a little bit last night, and I wanted to apologize for that, Adrian." She murmured.

"Don't worry about it. It isn't the first time you've blown up at me anyways. It's easy to get over now that I'm used to it." I told her, elbowing her. She started to speak when her door opened, and in strolled Logan.

"I thought we were meeting at ten for lunch?" He asked. Then, his eyes fell on me and he grimaced slightly. "I heard you were gracing court with your presence again, Lord Ivashkov." Usually, I hated when people addressed me by my title, but when he did it, I liked it, just because it meant I was higher up than he was, and definitely more important than he'd ever be.

"I'm sorry Logan. I woke up late, and Adrian stopped by." His eyes fell on her, and the look he gave her almost made me lose it. Why I felt so protective over her, I wasn't sure, but the way he looked at her, treated her made my blood boil. I wasn't ever one to want to get into physical altercation, but I wanted to beat the shit out of this guy.

"Go get dressed, and meet me at the café." He told her. He wasn't asking if she still wanted to go, he was commanding her to meet him there. I shook my head slightly. "Good day Lord Ivashkov." He said, before bowing out. When he was gone, Sabrina's eyes fell on me, even though I was glaring at the spot he'd been standing.

"Adrian-." I turned to her.

"I hate him."

"Don't. He just-." I cut her off.

"No, stop defending him. How can you stand to throw your body between a strigoi and someone so unworthy, someone who treats you like that? I demanded.

"It's my job."

"Your job is shit." I growled. She looked down, and nodded.

"I know." She murmured. I watched as a tear fell from her face and hit the floor. I instantly felt back. I knelt down in front of her and met her gaze. I wiped the few stray tears away, and sighed.

"I'm sorry I keep getting worked up. I'll behave now. I don't want you to cry." I murmured.

"I'm not crying because of you… I'm crying because you're right and there's nothing I can do."

"I'm so sorry, Sabrina." I murmured, pulling her to stand, and into my arms. She buried her face into my shoulder as I wound my arms around her waist. When I pulled away, I took her face in my hands.

"I'm going to go. You go to lunch with him, and if you want… afterwards you can come by my room." I said. She met my gaze for a second, then nodded.

"Okay." She murmured. I kissed her forehead, and stepped away before I could do something I regretted.

"I'll see you later." I said, before walking out and closing the door behind me. I took a deep breath as I stood outside her door, before heading to the opposite side of court. As I headed that direction, I saw my mother coming. I could tell she was looking for me.

"Adrian…" She said, jogging towards me. I smiled. When she reached me, she wrapped her arms around me. "Is it true? Are you home now?"

"It's true." I said, holding her. She pulled away and smiled.

"I'm so glad. I've missed you so much, and I was so worried." She said, hugging me again.

"I told you I'd be fine." I told her, smiling, trying to play it up for her.

"What made you come home?" She asked. I wasn't going to tell her the truth. The last thing I needed was her relationship pep talk, and all that.

"Just decided I was tired of running from my problems." I told her. She smiled.

"I'm proud of you son. You're becoming such a man." She told me. I rolled my eyes.

"I've got to go, Mom. I'm meeting Lissa. I'll see you around, okay?" She nodded, and kissed my forehead before I took off towards the Ivashkov wing, hoping I'd beat her there. As I walked, I saw Dimitri and Rose standing outside the front doors of court talking. Rose looked like she was yelling at him, but you could never be sure. Seeing them together made my heartache, but I watched anyway, looking for any sign that maybe they'd been right. Maybe somewhere in her, she really did sort of love me. He reached forward, pulling her into his arms. Even from inside the door, I watched her close her eyes and sigh in contentment. When she opened her eyes, she looked directly at me. I quickly averted my gaze, and kept walking. I figured she'd come inside and follow me, but the door never opened. I kept walking, and continued to my room. As I got inside, Eddie was already gone. I walked into my bedroom to find my bottle of scotch next to the bed with a glass. I shook my head. After the break up, that's what I needed to wake up every morning. If I didn't have some kind of alcohol coursing through my blood, I wouldn't make it. I grabbed the bottle and the glass, and poured some before sipping it as I sat down at the counter. I remembered back to all of the things Sabrina had told me. I was still trying to figure so much out, my brain felt like it was going to explode. I wanted Logan Voda to explode. He didn't deserve her at all. She was amazing, and beautiful, and so many other things, but Logan obviously didn't cherish any of them the way he ordered her around. If memory serves, his entire family was like that though. They were the snobbiest of the royals, but the least important, and they were all horrible, horrible people. I wasn't a saint, and that I knew, but when you order people around the way they do, treat people the way they do, it's a disgrace to our kind. I sat there for at least a good hour and a half. I supposed Sabrina wasn't coming by, because she didn't show. As I sat there though, something she'd said to me stuck with me. She'd told me as Logan got older, he was becoming his father, and I wasn't sure why but I felt like that was important. I started thinking about Logan's father, Benjamin Voda. He was a dick as well. My father hated that man with a passion. He was also a recovering alcoholic, and we heard all kinds of stories of how he beat the shit out of his wife when he was unhappy with her, or when he w as just unhappy in general, but you never got her to stand up and say it was true. We all knew it was. When you're recovering from alcohol, you sometimes go into rage fits, and need something or someone to beat the shit out of, and he chose her. It was then that it clicked. The bruises, the reasons she was fumbling with telling me where they'd come from, why she'd been hesitant to let me heal them. He was beating her. He was beating the hell out of her, and she was taking it. I was up out of my barstool and out the door before I could even form the thought of what I was doing. When I reached her room, I knocked twice and flung the door open. She was on the couch with a cup of coffee and a blanket wrapped around her. She looked so fragile, but I didn't let it stop me.

"He's beating you, isn't he?" I growled. She was off the couch.

"What? NO! He'd-." She started, but I cut her off. I could see in her aura and in her eyes she was lying.

"Don't lie to me, Sabrina. Look me in the eye and tell me he hasn't been using you as his own personal punching bag." I snapped.

"It's not like that." She said, looking away. A bright pink color filled her aura. It was almost relief, like she was relieved to have someone know the truth.

"Then what's it like, Sabrina? I know you don't do anything to stop him. You take it, how the hell could you stand-." She shook her head, and a light sob shook her body.

"I'm so tired of you, Adrian. My life was fine, just normal until you came along. I didn't over think things, or wish I was somewhere else like I do now. I never questioned my job before you, because I knew it was what I had to do, but ever since you've came along, I don't know anything anymore."

"Your life was fine? Normal? He's beating the shit out of you, Sabrina. I wouldn't call that a normal life." I growled at her. I couldn't believe it.

"It wasn't something I wasn't used too. My life has always been routine. I woke up every morning, got dressed, and guarded Logan. It's what I did. If I got hit a few times, so be it. He was angry, or frustrated, and I had to take care of him. He's a pain in the ass, yes… but he was my pain in the ass. I was used to it. Now that you've entered my life, it's fallen all out of whack. I'm doing things I shouldn't, thinking about things I shouldn't. This isn't my routine, and your making me question all of it."

"That's a good thing. That means you can see how fucking ridiculous what your doing is." I told her. She shook her head and looked down.

"I don't want to question it Adrian. You don't understand how-." I walked over to her, and took her face in my hands. She avoided my eyes.

"Look at me, Sabrina." She wouldn't do it. I took a deep breath. "Please, look at me." I murmured, lowering my voice to just a whisper. She looked up and I bet her soft blue eyes full of pain, full of suffering. "You do not deserve this. You know that as well as I do. Your bust your ass for him, and he does nothing for you in return."

"He gives me something to do with my life. He gives me a purpose." I shook my head.

"No, that is not the way to think about it. You should know better than this. Listen to me, I know what you promised your father, but if he knew what Logan was doing to you, what you've been dealing with for so long, he'd never make you keep that promise." I said.

"You're wrong. My father would want me to protect him no matter what." She said, tears still steadily streaking down her face.

"No, you're wrong. He wouldn't want-." She cut me off, pushing me away from her.

"No, stop it. You're trying to talk me out of my job. I'm his guardian, Adrian. I protect him, no matter what." She yelled.

"You're being stupid, listen to yourself. You supposed to be strong, not let people push you around." I snapped at her, anger filling me.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know him like I do. He's trying to be better, but-." She started, but I stopped her.

"No, God damn it. Stop it. Stop making excuses for the sorry, good-for-nothing piece of shit. He's nothing. His family isn't important, and he isn't either. You're beautiful, and strong, and smart, and purely amazing, and he doesn't see you for any of that. He sees you as a piece of meat at his disposal. You are a guardian, and yes it's your job to protect him, but you're also a woman, and he needs to treat you as such." I said. The rant took a little bit, so when I was done, she was staring at me. I looked down, and shook my head. An uncomfortable silence fell over the room as I tried to regain my composure I'd just lost on her. "Look, I didn't-."

"You think I'm beautiful?" She asked. She would pick that line to hang onto. I nodded once.

"I do. You don't deserve what he's doing to you." I said. She looked down.

"What else am I gonna do? Without him… I have nothing." She said. The next words leaving my lips without even thinking about it, but as soon as I said them, I realized that I meant them.

"Be my guardian."

"You have Eddie." She said.

"Eddie was my guardian because I left, not because he really wants to be. The boy wants to be on his own, not following me around like a puppy. Plus, he hardly gets to do anything when he's with me."

"And what makes you think I want to follow you around like a puppy?" She asked. The tense atmosphere in the room shifted.

"Most women do." I said, snarkily. She smiled, which was definitely a good thing. She looked down and back up.

"Adrian… I can't leave him… I'm sorry." She murmured, sad expression filling her face as she met my eyes. I walked over to her and took her face in my hands.

"You need to realize you're settling for less by being his guardian." I said, looking deep into her eyes. I wasn't sure how it happened, or which of us did it, but before I knew it, her lips were on mine. They were soft and warm, and felt like home. It almost made me feel like I felt kissing Rose. It was then, I pulled away from her, that thought being like a bucket of cold water on me.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what-." I shook my head.

"I have to go." I told her. Here I was, running again.

"No, Adrian… please don't." She said. It was too late; I was already out the door.


	9. I should go,

I knew I shouldn't have run out on her like that, but I couldn't stand to be in there another second after that thought crossed my mind. I had to get out. I couldn't be falling for her. I couldn't be falling for anyone right now. I was Adrian Ivashkov, God damn it. I wasn't supposed to fall in love. I definitely wasn't supposed to fall in love with girl who had men already in their lives. With Rose, I'd known better. I'd known Dimitri was going to be in the way forever, regardless of everything. Sabrina was a different story completely, but I had a feeling Logan was always going to be in the way. I had to stop getting involved with girls who had men already in their lives. With both of them, I've tried my best to convince them that I was the best suitor but neither of them listened. I couldn't be falling in love with her. She had her own problems to deal with, and she'd already made it very clear that she couldn't leave Logan, that she wouldn't. She wanted to, and I could see it in her eyes. She was too bound to him by duty, not by anything else. It wasn't like Rose and I where she was in love with another man, no. It wasn't like that at all. Regardless, there was another man involved, and I don't know if I can take that again. No, I know for a fact I can't take that again. It might damn near kill me. I sighed as I got back to my room. I sat down on the couch, taking deep deliberate breathes. I could still taste her on my lips, and it was killing me. I'd meant everything I said to day, but more than that, I wanted to act on them. Her being my guardian? I'd give Eddie up for her, which I'm sure he wouldn't mind. There really wasn't any action being my guardian. Since the boy agreed to it, he hasn't killed a single strigoi. When he worked here, as a court guardian, he was killing all the time, and I know he was bored with me. The boy liked the action. Whether I was willing to give him up or not, meant nothing… Sabrina wasn't leaving Logan, and I knew that. I poured me a glass of Vodka and downed it, knowing I was going to need it. My couch was where I stayed, pretty much all night. I tried falling asleep on my own, but it didn't happen, so eventually I passed out, falling into unconsciousness.

When I woke the next morning, my entire body ached. My couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep. I got up, and set my vodka glass on the counter, before going into the bathroom to get a shower. When I got out, I got dressed and did my hair, walking back into my living room, I found Eddie.

"Morning sir." I nodded once. He raised an eyebrow. "Something's wrong."

"I've definitely been with you for too long. If you can just look at me and tell something's wrong, we need a break."

"Nah, it's a good thing, I think. What's going on?" He asked.

"It's a long story, and it isn't mine to tell."

"You know I don't go blabbing like the royals around here." He said, rolling his eyes at me. It was true. If I told Eddie something in confidence, it usually stayed that way. He was good about stuff like that. Eddie was actually pretty loyal, like a golden retriever. Was it bad that I compared my guardian to a dog?

"It's Sabrina… her and Voda." I muttered, saying his name like a cuss word.

"He still treating her like shit?"

"That would be an understatement." I said, looking away from him.

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing. I'm slowly taking care of it." I said, not sure I really wanted to be involved anymore with the rate things were going.

"If it's going to get you into-." I shook my head at him.

"It's not going to get me into much trouble."

"Adrian..." He warned.

"Look, I care about her… alright, and I want to help her. I'm doing what I can right now, and I'm not sure what else to do, not sure there's anything more I can do, but I'm trying. Just let me handle this alone… for once." I said. He smiled and nodded.

"Okay, but if you need anything, you know you can come to me, right? You're not on your own." He said.

"Thank you, Eddie." He bowed out, leaving to go do whatever it was guardians did when they weren't with their charge. I sat around, pretty much all day, wondering what I should do. I debated talking to someone else, getting their opinion. The first person to enter my mind was Rose, but I couldn't talk to her right now. I wasn't in a very good mood to be able to have a friendly chat with her. I debated on talking to Jill or Lissa, but they wouldn't understand, and I couldn't tell either of them Voda was beating her. I finally gave up on talking to someone else, and poured me another glass of Vodka. It usually helped. I was on my third drink when I finally decided I was just going to go to her. I couldn't stay here anymore, knowing I'd walked out on her yesterday. I knew it probably didn't help her at all. She'd kissed me, and being in love, falling in love again scared me, but… I couldn't give up on her like that. She needed someone because it was obvious she had no one. I was just scared I was going to get in to deep, and not be able to get myself out. When I reached her door, I knocked and waited, not going to go bursting in like I did before. I stood there for a few minutes before she opened the door. When she did, then moment I met her eyes, I almost lost it. Her left eye had a dark blue and purple ring around it.

"Sabrina…" I murmured. I was trying to keep a hold on my voice. She shook her head.

"I'm fine." I took a few steps forward, putting me in her room. I kicked the door shut behind me.

"What happened?"

"He knows you know." She murmured, looking away from me.

"He did this because of me?" I demanded. She nodded once, avoiding my eyes.

"He thinks I told you. I tried to convince him otherwise, but it was too late. He was already pissed, and-." She motioned to her eye, still not looking at me. I placed a finger under her chin, pulling her face up to look at me. The bruise was bad. He'd hit her hard. I didn't think a moroi could pack that much power behind a punch, but apparently they could.

"Does it hurt?" I whispered. I should have been angry, but somehow… I was just concerned. She looked like she was in pain. Whether it was physical or emotional, I couldn't tell.

"It throbs sometimes, but I'll live." She said. I reached up, and traced around the bruising with my fingers, barely touching her. She shuddered lightly.

"Can I heal-." She shook her head.

"He'll just hit me again." She said.

"I won't let him." I almost growled. "Sabrina, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything about it. I shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe then-." She shook her head.

"You don't know how much of a relief it is to have someone know."

"I can't just let him keep beating on you like this, especially because of me." I told her.

"I'll live. I'm used to it." My anger flared up.

"I'm so done with your self-sacrificing bullshit, Sabrina. You don't deserve this, how many times do I have to tell you that? He's beating you. You're a woman. In the human world, he'd be arrested. Hell, if the authorities found out here, he'd probably be arrested."

"No, you can't tell anyone… please, don't tell anyone Adrian." She begged. I shook my head.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" I murmured.

"I can't leave him." She said. The next words that left my mouth were completely on impulse. I hadn't even thought of them.

"Do you love him?" I asked, looking down.

"No. He beats me Adrian. Do you think I could love someone like that?"

"Then why are you staying with him?" I demanded.

"You know why." She said, walking away from me to sit on her couch. I shook my head.

"You are the most stubborn person I've ever met, and that's hard to top considering the people I know." I told her.

"Thanks." She muttered sarcastically. I sighed, and walked over to sit down beside her. "Can I ask you something?" She said.

"Sure." I said. The moment I said it, I was sure I'd regret it.

"Why'd you leave yesterday when I kissed you?" She asked, looking away from me. I wasn't sure how to answer, or how to begin to tell her.

"I… I don't know." I murmured.

"You're lying to me."

"I'm not. I just… wasn't expecting it, and it scared me." I admitted.

"Scared you?" She asked.

"I… I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"Adrian, come on… I've told you a lot, and you can't return the favor by telling me one thing." She said. She was getting underneath my skin and she knew it. She was playing me like a harp.

"I'm scared because I'm tired of hurting." I said, pushing myself up off the couch to stand in the middle of the room. "I'm scared because I'm tired of being fucked over repeatedly. I've experienced loss. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. I was fucked over, and thought I'd never feel the way I felt about her again, but when you kissed me last night, that's exactly how it felt, and it scared me. It scares me to death, because I can't take it again. I'm scared, Sabrina, and that's the reason I left. You're right, I am a coward. Everyone who called me that was right." I said. She met my eyes.

"Rose?"

"How'd you know?" I asked. She shrugged.

"The snobby royal's rumors are sometimes right." I shook my head.

"Yeah, it was Rose."

"What happened?" She asked, looking seriously concerned. She could see the pain in my eyes, and I knew it.

"She left to try and prove that she didn't kill the queen. Well, actually she broke out of jail and left with Belikov and an Alchemist. He'd fed her this line about how his love had faded, and he couldn't love her anymore, and we both believed it. When they returned, I found out that they'd slept together while they'd been gone when Rose and I were in a relationship." I told her. She was staring at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Guardian Hathaway wouldn't do that, would she?"

"She did." I told her. She stood up, and walked over to me, taking my hand in hers. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry, Adrian."

"It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. I knew she loved him, but I still pretended not to notice, pretended to be oblivious to the fact he was all she'd ever want. I was an idiot." I murmured, avoiding her gaze.

"You loved her."

"More than anything." I murmured, fighting back the tears that threatened to escape. She pulled my face up to look at her.

"I always wondered what it was that gave you that haunted look in your eyes when you looked at me, at any female, but now I get it." She told me.

"How is it I feel the same way that I did when I kissed her, when I kissed you?"

"I don't know." She said, looking away.

"I can't afford that sort of pain again." I murmured. She giggled, and the sound wrapped around me like a blanket. "What's funny?"

"We're a mess." She muttered, shaking her head. I nodded.

"We are, aren't we?" I reached up, and took her face in my hands, letting my magic flow into her. I watched as she closed her eyes, but the blue and purple around it faded, and revealed her olive skin once again. She took a deep breath, before opening her eyes, and looking at me. She leaned forward, and pressed quick kiss to my lips.

"Thank you." She murmured.

"For healing you? It's not a problem."

"No, for everything. I'll admit, when I met you… I kind of wanted to punch you in the face, but you've grown on me." She said. I chuckled. "Thank you for be being here, for helping me, for telling me about you and Rose." I nodded once.

"You're welcome." I said, before she looked down. I pulled her face up to look at me.

"I'm scared." I admitted. She met my gaze, and shook her head.

"Don't be." She whispered, before she leaned forward and kissed me once again, he lips warm and welcoming just like before. The feelings coursing through me scared me, but at the same time they were marvelous and I welcomed them, even though they terrified me. When she pulled away from me, she smiled slightly.

"You know, if someone told me I'd be kissing a snobby royal once I moved here, I'd punch them in the face." She said. I smiled.

"If someone told me I'd ever feel this way again in general, I'd punch them in the face."

"No you wouldn't. It'd mess up your pretty hands." She said, taking mine in hers once again. I smirked.

"You might be right." I told her, smiling. It was the first genuine smile I'd given since I got here today.

"We'll get through this." She told me.

"How do you have that much faith?"

"I just do. If there was something Logan taught me, it was to have faith, no matter how tough things get." She said. I just nodded, not really wanting to think about Logan. She sighed.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked. She motioned to the bottle of Vodka on the counter. I raised an eyebrow.

"Trying to get me drunk?"

"No, I'm being polite. If I wanted you drunk, I would have asked when you first walked in the door." She said, smirking. She walked over to the counter, and grabbed to glasses out of her cabinet and poured us both a glass.

"I didn't know you liked Vodka."

"I don't, but it's all I've got right now." She admitted. I nodded.

"Been there." I said. She giggled.

"I bet." We sat there for awhile, the mood lightening little by little before the door opened, and in stepped the devil himself. Logan Voda.

"What the hell's he doing here, I told you-." She cut him off.

"He's my friend Logan." She told him.

"I don't care. I told you I didn't want him here anymore."

"This is definitely her room, so you have no say in who is and isn't here." I said, speaking up.

"Adrian, don't." Sabrina said. I shook my head.

"Excuse me… I don't know who you think you are, but-."

"It's Lord Ivashkov to you sir." I snapped. He recoiled a little. "And I want you to listen, and listen good. I will come and go as I please. Sabrina is my friend, and I will be here as long as she wants me here, and another thing. If you so much as lay your hands on her one more time, so help me God, I will tell authorities, and have you arrested." I snapped.

"Just because you're the dead queen's nephew doesn't make you-." I was out of my chair. He had to bring up Tatiana. I was starting towards him, when Sabrina ran between us.

"No, Adrian… stop." She said.

"You ever talk about my aunt again, so help me God Logan." I growled.

"Do you think I'm afraid of you?"

"You should be seeing as how my family is so much more important than yours. I could have yours thrown off the royal map right now if I wanted to. I don't know if you know this, but… my queen is also my best friend." I snapped. "So, if I was you… I'd be really nice to me."

"You're empty threats don't bother me Ivashkov."

"That's Lord Ivashkov to you." I said, pushing on Sabrina's hand which was against my chest to keep from going after him. He rolled his eyes.

"Sabrina, you might want to learn a little bit about your friends before you invite them in. He harbored a fugitive and helped her escape."

"If you talking about Rose, you should shut up… now." Sabrina told him.

"I am speaking of the Hathaway girl. You've obviously never heard the Ivashkov reputation." I snorted.

"But everyone's heard the Voda reputation. Recovering alcoholics, domestic abuse, and the least important royal family out of all of the royals." I said, smirking. I was riling him up.

"Take it back… now."

"No." I said, giving him the most smart-ass smirk I could conger up.

"Logan, just go."

"You're going to tell me to leave before him."

"Logan, NOW! I'm protecting you damn it, now get out." She growled. He glared at both of us before he turned and exited the room. Once he was gone, Sabrina turned to me.

"You just couldn't contain yourself, could you?" She demanded.

"Did you see the way he came in here talking to you?" I asked.

"I could have handled it."

"Yeah, you handle it fine until he's punching you in the face. Then what do you do?" I asked. She looked down.

"Adrian, you aren't helping things with him." She said.

"If you wanted me to leave, all you had to do was tell me." I told her. She shook her head.

"I don't want you to leave, but-." It was this moment I knew I could never avoid. It was this moment I was so afraid of.

"It's obvious what's going to happen here." I told her. "This was a mistake."

"What? No… Adrian, I didn't-." I shook my head.

"Its fine, Sabrina… I get it." I told her, before staring for the door.

"Adrian… please, don't."

"It's obvious that he doesn't want me in your life, and I don't want him in yours. You'd have to choose between your duty, and me. I knew which one you'd pick after you told me about the promise you made your father. Its okay, Merlon… I get it." I reached for the door and opened it, hoping and praying she'd act to stop me, tell me she chose me over her duty, but she didn't. I heard a quiet sob before I disappeared, closing the door behind me. I started back towards my room. I was trying to keep all emotions in check until I got home, but of course it wouldn't be that simple. As I turned the corner, I ran smack into Rose. She stumbled, but didn't fall.

"Watch where the fuck you-." She cut her self off. "Adrian, I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

"It's okay." I said, trying to step around her to go home. She stepped in front of me.

"Something's wrong. What is it?"

"It's nothing, Rose. I'm fine. Can I go, please?" I asked. She met my eyes for a second.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I assured her. She stood there for a second, before she nodded once.

"If you need me-."

"I know where you are." I said, before stepping around her, and almost running to my room to get away from anyone and everyone who would possibly be able to see something was wrong with me.


	10. Beautiful nightmare!

When I reached the safety of my own room, I went quickly to the bottle of Vodka in my cabinet. I knew I needed a drink and a cigarette now more than ever. I'd given up the habit for Rose, and then picked it back up again after our break-up. I'd slacked off the last couple days, but I was craving one now. I couldn't believe I didn't see it coming. I knew she wasn't going to choose me over him. I knew her father, and her duty was much more important to her than I would ever hope to be. She cared for me, maybe even had feelings for me, but they weren't anything compared to the feelings she had for her duty, what she had to do to honor her father. I'd given up all hope on ever actually being happy. When I thought things were going good, they came crashing down on top of me. I didn't understand why I really tried anymore. I didn't understand the point. I obviously didn't deserve to be happy, and God or whoever was watching was obviously amused with watching me squirm over the fact I'd come so close, within reach to have everything ripped away from me. I knew giving up was in my best interest, but somehow… I didn't know if I could. Over the last few days I've known her, I'd become attached, and wasn't sure I could unattach myself. I sat in my room for the next three days, nursing the bottle of Vodka that I knew would never give up on me. Atleast not until it was empty. I finally gave up on figuring out what to do on my own, and went to Lissa. When I walked into the throne room, her and Christian were laughing as I approached. She looked up, and stood automatically. She could probably tell I had a hangover from hell.

"Adrian." She said.

"Your majesty." I said, bowing a little.

"You're hung-over."

"I am." I said. Christian snorted, but Lissa turned to glare at him.

"What's wrong?" I sighed.

"That's why I came to you; I need your help your majesty." I told her.

"Stop calling me that. What's going on?"

"I need you to look at this from my friend's point-of-view, and not the queen, because I'm not here to get anyone into trouble, but I need your advice." She nodded once.

"Okay, Adrian. I'm listening."

"Do you know Guardian Merlon? Logan Voda's guardian?" I asked.

"Yes, I know Sabrina. She's a sweetheart. What about her?"

"I think… I think I might like her, but-."

"Adrian, another guardian." She said.

"Will you hush, and listen." I snapped. My hangover was making me irritable. She nodded.

"I think we both like each other, but she's Logan's guardian, and I don't know if you've ever noticed how he treats her, but he treats her like a slave. I found out a few days ago, that he beats the hell out of her."

"WHAT?" Lissa said, standing. I shook my head.

"As my friend, not my queen." I reminded her. She growled, but sat down.

"Why hasn't she left him, asked to be reassigned?" She demanded.

"He father made her promise that she'd protect the Voda family, before he died… and now she feels obligated to stay with him. She wants out from under him so bad, but she's trapped. Logan doesn't want me around her because I know, and I don't want him around her because he beats her and treats her like dirt-."

"And you'd have to make her choose." Christian said. I nodded.

"And I know she'll choose her duty and her father over me. I don't know what to do, and I'm so confused. I don't want her to keep having to endure that, but I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. I just need help on what I should do, where to go from here." I said.

"You do like her, don't you?" Lissa asked. I nodded.

"I think I do."

"She'd be good for you. She'd keep you in check." Christian said. I nodded.

"But as long as Voda is in the way, it won't ever happen." I said.

"The only way you'll be able to be with her then, is to deal with Voda, because she isn't going to give up her duty for you. I commend her. Staying through that is honorable on her part, but also stupid." Lissa said. I nodded.

"I've tried to convince her that her father wouldn't want her to endure that, but she's not buying it. When I showed up to see her a few days ago, she had a black eye because he found out that I knew." I told them.

"Did she tell you?" Christian asked. I shook my head.

"No, I put the pieces together on my own. Every time I saw her she had a new bruise, and I just took a stab in the dark, and was right." I told them.

"I should have him arrested."

"No… She'll know who told, and that will make my situation work. Maybe, if I can turn things in my favor, it won't matter, but for now… don't say anything." I said. She nodded.

"I won't. His father was the same way. He used to beat the hell out of his mistress, and she never said a word." Christian said. I nodded.

"I know. I hate the Voda's. This is why no one, and I do mean no one likes or cares about their family. Their all lunatics." I told them. Lissa nodded.

"I agree."

"I think that if you really like her, and it's clear that you do, then you shouldn't give up." Christian said.

"I don't want to give up, but-." Lissa cut me off, and smiled.

"You're scared to get hurt again." She stated. She wasn't guessing. She knew.

"I am. I'm afraid of what it will do to me if someone hurts me like that again."

"You don't deserve that, Adrian. Not again." Lissa said.

"I agree." I heard, and turned to find Rose walked around the throne, and to stand beside Lissa. "You don't deserve to hurt like that again. You deserve someone who's going to take care of you, be there for you no matter what. You need someone to be to you, what I couldn't." Somehow, it didn't feel right taking advice from her. I just nodded.

"I don't know what to do, where to go from here. I sort of walked out on her yesterday, and I'm not sure she'd even want to see me now."

"She will." Rose said.

"How do you know?"

"I've heard her speak of you in a meeting before. She thinks highly of you." She told me. I nodded.

"I'm going to go. I'll figure something out. Thank you, Lissa." She smiled.

"If you need me, you know where I am." I nodded. I met Rose's gaze once, and nodded slightly before bowing out, and heading back towards my room. My body itched to go to her, to make sure she was okay. I'm sure by the time Logan came back, he'd built up enough rage towards me to take it out on her. She'd probably end up with two black eyes, or more bruises on her neck, and stomach. I shook my head. Thinking about him hitting her made my blood boil. Thinking about him hurting her because of me made me want to hurt him. I sighed, and went back to my room, taking up residency at my counter with my fresh bottle of Vodka I'd had Eddie bring by. He asked, and I gave him minor details, nothing to serious. He gave me the advice he could, but he didn't really understand, even though he tried. I looked at the clock to see the sun was about to come up, and I should definitely be in bed, but my brain was in over-drive and there was no way I could sleep like that. I sat at my counter for what seemed like hours contemplating a way to make her see sense, and realize what she was doing what stupid, but there was no way around it. Honor was important to her. I finally came to the conclusion that I would go see her tomorrow, and talk to her, apologize for walking out, and all of that stuff. I finally started towards my bedroom, going to try and get some sleep, when someone knocked at the door. It was late, and the moroi and dhampir world was usually asleep way before the sun rose. I walked to my door and opened it to find Sabrina on the other side of it, face tears streaked, and bloody and battered.

"Sabrina…" I almost whimpered. She looked like he'd beat her with a bat. I opened the door wider for her to come in. When she stepped inside, I closed the door. "What happened?"

"He was livid. I shouldn't have answered the door. I knew it was him. I'm a fucking idiot." She whispered, taking her face in her hands, but wincing at the pain.

"This was because of me, wasn't it?" I asked. She wouldn't look up. "It was, wasn't it?"

"It was." She whispered. I shook my head.

"I will end his sorry, pathetic existence, Sabrina." She shook her head, and a small sob escaped her chest. I stepped forward, and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her against my chest. "Come on." I wrapped an arm around her waist, and led her into my room. I sat her down on my bed, and kicked my shoes off, pulling her into my lap. She curled up against my chest, and just cried. I could tell it was what she needed. I let her get it all out, holding her and letting her ramble, nodding or whispering things when necessary. I ran my hands through her hair, it feeling like silk against my finger tips. Her sobs finally quieted, I took a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" I murmured. She looked up; her face bruised even more than it was when she first showed up at my door.

"I am now." She whispered. I wiped the tears away from her face with my thumb. "Adrian, I can't do it anymore." I met her eyes, and saw exactly what she meant.

"You mean it?"

"I can't keep doing this. I can't keep taking this abuse. Adrian, look at what he's done to me. I can't keep putting up with this. I won't." She said. Somehow, I'd been hoping her answer would include something about her wanting to be with me. I didn't say anything, and she met my eyes. "And I'm not going to lose you because of him. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, Adrian. I've never came across anyone who can just look at me and know something's wrong." She said. I smiled slightly. My heart swelled in my chest. I touched her face.

"I'm so sorry that he did this to you." I told her.

"I know you'll make it better." She said, smiling up at me. I took her face in my hands, and slowly the bruises faded, bringing her beautiful olive skin color back to the surface. She opened her eyes, to gaze back up at me. "Thank you." I nodded. She stretched up, and pressed her lips gently to mine. Her lips were feather soft, and welcoming against mine. They were like home. I ran a hand through her hair, as she scooted closer to me, pressing her body against mine. I welcomed her closer as I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, causing her to open her mouth wider, deepening the kiss. The moment her tongue touched mine, it set my body ablaze. She wrapped her arms around my neck, knotting her fingers into my hair. When she pulled away, she laid her forehead against mine.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." She said.

"I know what you'd do without me."

"It's your fault, you know." She said, sitting up. I intertwined out fingers, as she smiled down at our hands.

"What's my fault? I was under the impression that you were happy with the way things turned out." I said, snarkily. She smiled slightly, but when she looked up there was a haunted expression in her eyes.

"I still can't help but feel like-." I cut her off, knowing where she was going.

"You didn't let him down. You listen to me, and listen good, you protected Logan. He's still alive. You got him this far. He has another guardian who will take care of him. You're father, regardless of your promise, wouldn't want you to take the abuse, to have to deal with all of that. Like I said before, you are a guardian, but you're also a woman, and that is no way to treat a woman." I told her.

"You're such a gentleman." She said. I smiled.

"That's the first time I've ever been called that." I admitted. She smirked.

"Don't get used to it." She said. I shook my head at her. She tried to push herself out of my bed, but I grabbed her, flipping her over and pinning her to my bed. She giggled.

"Assertive. I like it." I smirked down at her.

"You actually have no idea." I said, before leaning down and pressing my mouth to hers. The feelings coursing through my body were still so new, and so raw. I'd experienced them before, but it was somehow different with her. She wasn't as guarded, and hesitant, because when I was with Rose, that was all I got. Like I'd said before, Rose's body was with me, but her mind was with him. With Sabrina, I had all of her, and it was the way I planned to keep it. When I pulled away, she sighed.

"I should probably go home, and get some rest. I haven't slept much lately." She reached up and ran her fingers gently under my eyes. "And from the looks of it, you haven't either Lord Ivashkov. I'd also say you've been drinking… heavily." I smiled at how she'd known just from looking at me.

"And you accused me of knowing something's wrong by just looking at you."

"Well, it's easy to tell with you. You can see your emotions through your eyes and on your face." She told me. I chuckled.

"I'll have to work on that."

"No, don't. I like it. It makes it easier to make you happy when something's wrong." She said, smirking.

"You know what'd make me happy right now?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She met my eyes, and giggled, before reaching up and pulling my mouth down to hers. When I pulled away, I sighed.

"Damn, I must really be easy to read."

"Nope, that time… I was guessing. You may be a gentleman, but you're also a guy." She said, grinning. I rolled my eyes. She looked at the alarm clock beside my bed, and sighed.

"I really should be getting home." She said, pushing herself up onto her elbows. I frowned.

"I really don't want you to go."

"What if he comes back and I'm not there. He's going to know-." I cut her off.

"I don't care that he knows. I hope he does know. I want him to come here."

"Adrian, I don't want you getting into trouble." She told me. I laughed, shaking my head at her.

"I'm not quite sure if you're aware, but I'm Adrian Ivashkov, and trouble is sort of my middle name." I told her. She smiled.

"Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to for a second." She said. I rolled my eyes. I reached out, and touched her face.

"I just really don't want you to go." I said. "And if he comes back, I don't want you to be there alone."

"Come with me then." She said.

"Come back to your room and stay with you?" I asked. She nodded once. I smirked.

"Alright, well if you insist." I said, waving my hands dismissively. I got up, pulling her up with me. I slipped my shoes back on, and grabbed a pair of shorts, knowing she probably wouldn't exactly be comfortable with me sleeping in my boxers in her bed. When we reached her room, it looked like a tornado had gone through it. She sighed.

"I'm sorry about this. I completely forgot it looked like this."

"He did this, didn't he?" I asked. She nodded, and began picking stuff up, putting it back where it belonged. I helped her straighten things up before she led me into her room.

"If he shows up here, he's not just going to come barging in, is he?"

"I locked the door. The last time he was here, he left his key, so he has no way to get in." She told me. I nodded.

"Good." I said, as she grabbed a change of clothes.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom. You can change out here if you'd like." She told me. I nodded, as she disappeared into her bathroom. I quickly changed out of my clothes, before sitting on the edge of her bed. When she opened the bathroom door, she hesitated.

"Are you decent?"

"Am I ever?" I asked. She stepped out, and her eyes fell on me, but I was pretty much mesmerized by her. I'd seen her in uniform, I'd seen her dressed up, but I'd never seen her so casual. She was in a pair of short, shorts and a tank top, with her hair thrown up in a messy bun. Her eyes were still bloodshot from all the crying she did, but she was absolutely stunning. I met her eyes, as I noticed hers weren't on my face. They were on my bare chest.

"You sleep like that all the time?" she asked, taking a deep breath.

"Actually, no. I usually just sleep in my boxers to be honest. I figured I'd be a little more decent tonight since I'm in the presence of a lady." I said. She swallowed hard, and I had to admit, I was enjoying seeing her sweat a little. I thought I was the only one affected by the other. Turns out, I was wrong. She crawled into her bed, as I leaned back. She scooted closer against me, as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She laid her hands against my bare chest, smirking slightly at the skin on skin contact.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" She asked. I snorted.

"You're boosting my ego here."

"Psh, like it could get any bigger, Ivashkov." She said. I smiled through the darkness as I pressed my lips to her forehead.

"You're something else, Merlon." I told her.

"I was thinking the same thing about you."

"Maybe that's why we're so good together." I murmured. She smiled up at me.

"You seem so sure already."

"Oh, I'm positive." It was silent for a few minutes, and I almost thought she'd fallen asleep, when I heard her speak again.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." I assured her, not sure what she was going to ask.

"Do you still love her?" I knew automatically who she was referring too. I was silent for a few moments, weighting my words before I spoke them.

"I… I think a part of me will always love her, but… she wasn't right for me. She knew it before I did. I wanted to think she was the one for me, but… Dimitri was the one for her, as much as I hated it. It was time for me to move on, so… I do still love her, but it's not the same as it was before." I explained. She nodded once, and pressed a kiss to the skin on my chest.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that with her. I know it hurt you." She said.

"My eyes?" I asked.

"That's part of it. It's also you're reactions to her when people bring her up. Your body tenses up, or you become quiet, as if you're heads in a far off place. There's also a look of pain, hurt in your eyes when people talk about her. It couldn't have been easy for you." She said.

"It was hell." I admitted. The room fell silent, before I felt there was something more I had to say, to make things right. "It doesn't bother you… does it? That a part of me is still in love with her?"

"No, it doesn't. I know what it's like to be fucked over. I know how hard it is to bounce back from it. Love doesn't go away, and if it does… it wasn't ever really love at all." She said.

"It scares me how well you just adapt, and go with everything. You might damn-well be perfect." I told her. She giggled.

"That's the first time someone's ever called me that." She said, mocking my words from earlier when she called me a gentleman. I smiled. She started tracing patterns on the skin of my chest with her fingers, causing goosebumps to rise. I could see the smirk on her face, and shook my head.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Lots." She admitted. "I'm glad you came to stay with me."

"Me too." I said. The room fell silent one again, and she looked up, pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Goodnight Adrian." She whispered.

"Sweet dreams, Sabrina." I watched as her eyes slowly slid shut, and she drifted off to sleep. I stared into her beautiful face, wondering how any person could hurt someone so beautiful and amazing. I finally gave into the exhaustion, allowing myself to fall into a deep slumber along side of her.


	11. Over it

I was the first to wake up the next morning. When I opened my eyes, and noticed my surroundings, I'd come to the conclusion that last night hadn't been a dream. It had all been real. She'd chosen me over him. I looked down at the gorgeous girl sleeping soundly in my arms, and smiled. Maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe God didn't like to watch me squirm. Maybe he just liked to use all the bad things to make me realize when I had a really good thing. I decided that's what it was and stuck with it. Sabrina twitched, and pulled herself closer to me. She slowly opened her eyes, and met my gaze. I think it took her a few seconds to realize she was conscious.

"Good morning." I murmured.

"That sounds about right, waking up next to you."

"Awe, I'm blushing, stop it." I said, playfully turning my head. She giggled.

"I could get used to this." She admitted.

"What?" She locked my gaze, and smiled slightly.

"Waking up to you every morning." I nodded.

"Me too." I told her.

"Come on, get up and I'll make up some coffee." She said, trying to roll out of my arms. I grabbed her, pulling her against my chest.

"I don't think so. We're not leaving just yet." I said, pulling her mouth to mine. She sighed against my lips, which sent a vibration straight through my body. I almost lost it. When she pulled away, she ran a hand through my hair.

"You have bed hair."

"Well, I'm sorry I can't put mine up, and have it look perfect when I wake up." I teased, pulling the hair-tie out of her hair, allowing it to fall and splay down her shoulders. She smiled, and kissed me again, before I released her. I followed her out into the kitchen, and sat down at her counter. She turned the coffee pot on, and leaned against the counter, gazing across it at me.

"You're beautiful." I told her. She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Are you calling me a liar?" I asked.

"No, that's not what I'm saying."

"Mhmm." I muttered. She giggled. She poured me a cup of coffee and pushed the creamer and sugar towards me. When I was done, she sipped her coffee across from me.

"I still haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him." She said.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes."

"The time's now, Adrian. I'm sure it won't be long until he showed up." She said.

"That's why I'm not leaving." I told her.

"What?"

"When I go back to my place, you're either coming with me, or I'm staying here." I said.

"I don't need to be babysat, Adrian."

"I'm not babysitting you. I'm guarding you. I know he won't dare lay a hand on you while I'm around." I told her. She smiled slightly.

"You seem so sure." She said.

"Because I am." I told her. She shook her head. She went over to sit down on her couch, and I followed, sitting next to her. We sat there, just enjoying each other's company and coffee before she got up to get dressed. I made no move to get dressed just yet. As she was in her room, there was a knock on her door. I hesitated, looking back at her bedroom door. I wondered if she'd heard it. I went to the door and opened it, to find Logan.

"What the hell are you doing here again?"

"I slept here." I said, shamelessly. "Can I help you?"

"Where's Sabrina?"

"She's busy fixing her face that you mangled and destroyed yesterday." I snapped at him. He recoiled a little at my tone. I would have too. I heard her bedroom door open and glanced back. She suddenly became serious.

"Who is it?" She asked. I swung the door open, letting him step inside. He was livid, and I could tell by his face. I slammed the door behind him, and walked to stand by Sabrina. "Hello Logan." She said, keeping her voice hard.

"Sabrina, I'm sorry for-." She cut him off with a shake of her head.

"I can't do this anymore, Logan." She said, pain in her voice.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm resigning." She said, trying to keep her voice steady. She was having a hard time.

"You can't do that. Brina, I'm sorry." She flinched at the name. I wondered if that was some kind of nickname he had for her before he was beating the shit out of her.

"You're apologies mean nothing anymore, Logan. I don't deserve this anymore. I can't take it." She said, trying hard not to cry. I stepped closer to her, and laid a hand on her arm. She looked up at me, and then to him. He was even madder now than he was when I'd answered the door.

"What about the promise you made your father? You're going to fail him? Just like that just because some stupid spirit-using moroi stepping into your life. He'd be so disappointed in you if he knew." She shook her head hard.

"NO! You're wrong. You don't know anything about my father. He wouldn't want me to have to go through what you've put me through for so long. You have no idea what you're talking about, and I'm so sick of you using that to get me to stay with you. I'm done with you, Logan." He started towards her, hands clenched into fists, but I stepped in front of her.

"I suggest you leave… now." I said. He stopped.

"Last chance, Sabrina." He threatened.

"I'm done. I want you out of my room, and out of my life." She told him. A single tear ran down her face.

"This isn't over, Ivashkov." He promised, before walking out, slamming the door behind him. I turned around to find her taking deep, deliberate breathes, trying to rein her emotions in.

"It's okay." I told her, pulling her into my arms.

"I know." She murmured, burying her face into my chest. She shook her head and took a deep breath, stepping away from me. "I'm fine. I'm totally fine." She assured me. It looked more like she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince me.

"It was for the best, you know that." I told her.

"I do. It's still hard letting go of something I was so accustomed too."

"I know it is, but… you eventually learn to live without it." I told her. It was amazing how much my own words pertained to me as well, and I hadn't even realized it. Rose had been a daily part of my life, and after our break-up, I wasn't sure how I'd really go on without her in it. I eventually learned that every day it gets a little easier. The difference was, she has me. When I was going through everything with Rose, I had no one but Eddie, and I could tell it made him uncomfortable because Rose was his friend. I eventually gave up, keeping everything inside. She didn't have too.

"I suppose you would know, wouldn't you." She said, obviously knowing where my mind was. I nodded.

"I would." I told her, taking her hand. "And you have me, and I'm going to help you."

"Thank you." She said, wrapping her arms around my waist. She reached up, and kissed me. I ran a hand through her hair.

"You're welcome."

"I'm going to change and head home, so I can shower." I told her. She nodded.

"Okay."

"Care to tag along, or you want to stay here?" I asked. She smiled.

"I'll be fine on my own. I'm sure you'll be back."

"You know I will be." I told her. She giggled.

"Good." She said. I chuckled, and grabbed my clothes from her room, slipping my shirt on and heading home. When I got there, I quickly showered and changed my clothes. I heard a knock at the door as I ran my gel coated hands through my hair. I went and opened it to find Eddie.

"Where have you been? He asked. "I came to check on you last night, and this morning and you weren't here."

"I was out." I answered simply.

"Sabrina's?" He asked. I nodded.

"I stayed there last night." I told him. He raised an eyebrow, and smirked at me. I knew what he was thinking. "Nothing like that, Eddie."

"Yet." He said, smirking. I sighed, and rolled my eyes.

"Yet." I admitted. I couldn't help myself. The thought of having sex with her was always there. She was gorgeous, and what straight guy wouldn't think that. I didn't feel bad about it. I sighed.

"What's going on with Logan then?" He asked.

"She dropped him."

"Just like that?" He asked. I nodded.

"She showed up here last night bloody and bruised. He beat the hell out of her, and she finally got fed up. She told him this morning that she resigned as his guardian." I explained.

"You got lucky, didn't you?"

"Very, but Voda says it isn't over yet. I don't know if it was a threat to me, or to her… but I swear Eddie, I will go to jail if he tried to hurt her again." I told him.

"Please, no more murders. I think our group has had enough murder and jail cells to last us a while." He told me. I sighed. After hanging for an hour or so, he left. I'd still neglected to tell him that he might be replaced with Sabrina. I wasn't sure how to tell him, not that I thought he'd care, but I just thought I should wait. I eventually started back to her room, but when I got there, I found a note on the door. I pulled it off, and ran my fingers over it. Her handwriting was perfect and so neat, not that I expected anything less.

_Adrian,_

_Meet me our back. I have a surprise for you._

_-Sabrina. _

I raised an eyebrow, but tucked the paper into my pocket, heading outside. When I walked out the back door of court, I found her lying on a blanket, obviously waiting for me.

"Surprise." She said. I smiled.

"My surprise is you all alone, on a blanket. I don't think it gets much better." I admitted. For the first time, I saw her face flush. I smirked.

"Come here." She said, patting the space next to her. I walked over, and sat down beside her.

"So, what exactly is it we're doing?"

"At midnight, there's supposed to be a meteor shower." She told me. "I like being outdoors anyway, so I figured we could watch it together."

"Good idea." I told her. She leaned over, and kissed me.

"Thank you." She said.

"For?"

"Everything." She said. I shook my head at her.

"You should stop thanking me. I really haven't done all that much."

"You're wrong. You made me see sense for the first time in my life." She said.

"Someone had too, because Logan obviously wasn't beating it into you." I regretted the words once they left my lips, and my entire body tensed. I immediately sighed when I heard her giggle.

"Thought that was going to bother me, didn't you?" She asked. I nodded. "No, it didn't. I'm over it. You were right. I'm a guardian, and I'm supposed to be tough, but I'm also a woman, and beating the hell out of me, definitely wasn't the way to treat me."

"I'm glad you finally get it. I was starting to wonder if you had any brains in there at all, or if all you were was a pretty face." I told her. She flushed again. I lay down on my back, staring up at the stars. She laid her head on my chest, and intertwined her fingers with mine.

"I love this. I love being this close to you."

"I do too." I admitted. I never thought I'd admit to wanting to be close to someone ever again after Rose.

"Does it still scare you?" She asked me.

"To death." I whispered.

"You know I'd never-." I cut her off.

"Hurt me? I know. Rose told me the same thing, and I'm pretty sure she didn't hurt me intentionally. It still didn't make it hurt any less though."

"I've been where you were. I know what it's like. I wouldn't do that to you." She said.

"I hope you mean that."

"I do." She assured me. We laid there for awhile in silence, before the meteor shower started. It was beautiful, and I could tell she was enjoying every second of it.

"You know, I hear about stuff like this all the time, but never take the time to step back and watch it." I admitted.

"It's amazing how beautiful things can be." She murmured, before looking up to meet my gaze. I smiled down at her.

"I was just thinking the same thing." I said, getting lost in her gorgeous blue eyes. They were like oceans and I just wanted to dive right in. I touched her face, barely brushing my finger tips across her skin before descending my lips upon hers. The kiss was soft, and sweet, and held so much. She pulled away, and smiled. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she held her tongue. I didn't push. If she wanted to speak, she would have. She laid her head back on my chest, and we watched the rest of the shower in silence. After it was over, she traced patterns on my arms, smiling as she did so. I heard something far off in the forest behind court. She sat up, obviously hearing it to.

"You heard that?" I nodded.

"I did. Where'd it come from?" I asked.

"I don't know." She admitted, scanning. She stood up, pulling me up with her. "I think we should go in now." I started towards the door when I heard her cuss. I turned back to find a person standing just inside the cloak of the trees, the ward lines.

"You think you'd learn by now, night time is not the time to play outside." The strigoi hissed through the darkness. She smirked at him.

"You'd think you'd learn by now, you can't get through a ward. Why tease when you can't cross it?" She snapped back at him. I watched as he whistled and a googly eyed blonde boy walked up beside him. He was clearly human. He had a silver stake in his hand, much like the one Sabrina had in her hands. The boy stuck it into the ground where the ward lines lay, causing the Strigoi to snicker.

"Think again, dhampir." He said, stepping over the ward.

"Adrian, go." She said, before lunging herself into battle with the oncoming strigoi. I started towards the door, but turned back to her to find her semi-winning. I was scared to leave her, scared she might need my help. "Go." She snapped, when she caught sight of me still at the door. She got the upper hand on the strigoi, but he slowly began weakening her little by little. She was going down, and I could see it. I panicked, not knowing what to do. I did the thing I knew best, being a distraction.

"Hey Strigoi, I'm royal blood. It's me you want." I called. He released her, causing her to fall to the ground. He started after me, but before he reached me, she was on her feet, sticking her stake through his back. He snarled and spun around, swatting her like a fly. It was too late though. The silver as already affecting him, and he hit the ground. I watched as he fell, before running to where Sabrina had ended up on the floor.  
>"Sabrina? Sabrina, baby talk to me." I said.<p>

"You dumb ass. You could have been killed." She snapped, her eyes fluttering open and closed.

"I was protecting you. You're welcome." I said, smirking. She shook her head.

"I swear, Adrian." She muttered. I scooped her up into my arms, and carried her inside. When I got her to her room, I called down to the guardian desk, and let them know before grabbed a wet wash rag, and cleaning her off.

"I'm fine. You're babying me." She said.

"Some people need to be babied, sometimes."

"Not me." She snapped. I wiped the dirt off her face, and smiled.

"I'm just glad you're okay." I told her.

"I'll be fine." She told me, sitting up. She grabbed her head, and moaned.

"Yeah, getting slapped around like a fly by a strigoi doesn't feel so great." I told her. She growled, but laid back down.

"Get some sleep."

"I want to sleep in my bed." She complained. I sighed.

"Can you walk?" I asked.

"I can't even sit up without it hurting. Do you think I can walk?" She asked, sarcasm lacing her words. I rolled my eyes, and scooped her up into my arms, carrying her into the bedroom.

"Get some sleep, and I'll be back too-." She grabbed my hand.

"Don't leave."

"I need to go home and shower, and I don't have anything to sleep in." I told her.

"You can shower here, and I don't mind you sleeping in your boxers if it means you stay with me." She said. I smirked.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to seduce me." I said.

"No. Seducing you wouldn't be so hard." She said.

"Ouch." I said, clutching my chest. "Trying to say I'm easy?"

"No, but you're not exactly hard to get anyway. Atleast, in my case." She teased. I rolled my eyes. "Just don't go. I don't want you to leave me." I nodded.

"I'll just get a shower when I go home in the morning." I said, undoing my belt. I could tell she was trying to focus her eyes elsewhere, but they kept falling back on me. By the time I was down to my boxers, I crawled into her bed, and laughed.

"It's rude to stare."

"It's rude to be that hott." She said, running her hand down my bare chest. A slight shudder rocked through my body before I captured her lips with mine.

"My ego is going to be the size of Texas if you don't knock it off." I told her when our lips were free of each other. She smiled.

"Everything's bigger in Texas." She teased. I rolled my eyes, and she laid her head against my chest, and sighed. "I could listen to the sound of your heartbeat forever. It's like my own personal lullaby." I smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Goodnight Sabrina."

"Sweet dreams Adrian." She murmured, before I heard her soft snores fill the room. My own came soon after.


	12. His Mistakes!

When I woke up the next morning, it was to Sabrina's beautiful sleeping face. There were bruises and scratches all over her face, but even still, she was absolutely gorgeous. I smiled slightly, and ran my fingers over his face, letting my magic slowly run through her. I watched as the bruises faded, and the scratches disappeared. A slow smile spread over her face, before she sighed.

"Thank you." She murmured. I smirked.

"My pleasure." I told her. Her eyes slowly opened to look at me. I moved the hair out of her face, and grinned.

"Goodmorning." She said.

"Morning."

"How are you feeling?" I asked her. She shrugged.

"Better now." She told me, scooting closer to me. She tilted her head up, and kissed me.

"Is that because you woke up next to me, or because I healed you?" I asked, smirking my signature smirk at her. She giggled.

"I think it's a mixture of both." She admitted. I shook my head at her.

"You're something else."

"And here you are, still in my bed." She said. I nodded.

"It's easily dealt with." I told her. She giggled. The sound wrapped around me like a blanket. I loved the sound of her laugh more than anything. We both eventually got out of bed, and dressed. We split so I could shower, and change clothes, and met up at the café. On my way there, I ran into Logan. He glared at me, as I walked past him. I heard my name mentioned as he spoke to the moroi in front of him. I stopped, and turned.

"What was that?" I asked, taking a few steps towards him.

"I said, I hope you're enjoying my guardian. You know… the one you stole."

"You mean the one you beat the hell out of, and abused?" I asked. He was rendered speechless for a second.

"You have no proof."

"The bruises and scratches I healed were all the proof I needed. You'll never get that close to her ever again." I snapped at him.

"You just wait and see." He said. "She'll be mine again. She's just another girl to you. I know your rep, Adrian. Party boy, player, she'll come running back to me as soon as you break her fragile little heart."

"I would never hurt her. I won't do that to her the way you did. I'm more of a man than that. I'm more of a man than you." He growled and took a few steps towards me, as if he were going to hit me. Someone stepped in between us, as we approached each other. I wasn't really ever one to get into physical altercations with anyone, but I wanted to beat the hell out of him.

"What's going on here?" I heard that Russian accent, and automatically knew who it was.

"Nothing, just having a friendly chat with Ivashkov." He lied. Dimitri turned to look back at me.

"I wouldn't call it friendly."  
>"That's what it looked like from where I stood." Dimitri told me. I just nodded.<p>

"I have to meet Sabrina. I'm leaving. Good day, Logan." I said, glaring at him before turning away. I heard him mutter something under his breath, but I didn't care. I kept walking. I heard footsteps behind me, causing me to turn. Dimitri came up behind me.

"What was that about?"

"Long story… don't want to talk about it." I told him. "Logan Voda is a dick. That's all you need to know."

"I'm very aware." Dimitri told me.

"I'm sick of him running his mouth. I'm about ready to hit him."

"Adrian? Fighting?" He asked, obviously surprised. I shook my head.

"I have to go." I said, walking into the café, and taking my seat across from Sabrina, who looked tired or upset.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"What's wrong?" I asked her, obviously concerned. She shook her head.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired, and have a lot on my mind." She told me.

"Like?"

"Nothing, Adrian. It's cool. Don't worry about it." I finally nodded, not wanting to upset her, but it began eating at me. I could sense the hesitance in everything she said and did. I couldn't stand it. When I walked her back to her room, she told me she just wanted to be alone. I didn't understand what was wrong when she'd been fine just a few hours before. I eventually gave up trying to figure it out, and grabbed a bottle of Vodka and a glass. I had about four down before I started nodding off. I eventually fell asleep, and found myself searching for Sabrina's dream. When I found it, I quickly slipped inside, putting us in the middle of a gorgeous beach. She sighed when she saw me. It was the same reaction I'd gotten from Rose when I dream walked her.

"You've been drinking." She said, before I could even say hello.

"How do you know?"

"I can see it in your eyes." She told me. She knew me that well now. It was scary.

"I want to know what's wrong." I finally said.

"Nothing is wrong."

"God damn it, Sabrina. Tell me." I snapped.

"I ran into Logan before I got to the café today, and he said a lot of things, and I just-." She stopped.

"What'd he say?"

"That's not important." She told me.  
>"What did he say?" I asked again, each word separate and distinct.<p>

"He said that you were lying to me. That everything you'd ever said was a lie, and there was so much I didn't know about you. There was so much you were hiding from me, and that I'd be running back to him, because he was the only thing I've ever known that was actually stable, and you would never be. He said you've got a drinking problem, and you're never going anywhere." She explained. Each sentence she finished was another stab. I shook my head.

"He's wrong… He's so wrong. I've never lied to you. I'm not hiding anything from you." I told her.

"How do I know that?"

"I need you to trust me." I said.

"How do I know I can?" She whispered. I flinched at her words.

"I saved you from that fucking hell hole you were in while you were guarding him. When have I ever hurt you? When have I ever said something hurtful to you or cut you down the way he has?"

"Never." She murmured.

"And I never will."

"He said the same thing."

"I. Am. Not. Logan." I snapped at her, meeting her gaze intently.

"I know that, but-."

"You're letting him get to you. You're letting him convince you to blame me for his mistakes. Don't do that, Sabrina. You know-." I walked over to her and took her face in my hands. "You know I would never do anything to hurt you." She placed her hands over mine and nodded.

"I… I'm sorry." She finally said. "You're right. I'm blaming you for shit he did." I tilted her face up and kissed her lips.

"It's okay." I said. I waited a second, and smiled. "Just don't do it again." She nodded.

"I'm going to go. I'll be over to your room later." I told her. She kissed me as the dream world faded. I woke up and brushed my teeth, wanting to get the smell of Vodka off my breath. When I reached her room, she opened the door and let me in. I sat down on her couch as she walked over and threw herself across my lap.

"Did I say sorry for the way I was acting earlier?" She asked, smirking. I nodded.

"You did." I said, running a hand through her hair.

"Good." She said, sitting up and kissing me as she ran a hand through my hair as her lips moved in sync with mine. When she pulled away, I smiled.

"You've definitely been forgiven." I assured her.

"Thank God." She said. I chuckled. She shook her head, as she wrapped an arm around my neck.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

"You may have said something like that once or twice, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again." She said. I buried my face into the nook of her neck.

"You are one of the most beautiful women on the face of this Earth." I murmured. I watched as goosebumps rose on her skin as she giggled.

"Oh heavens, it took everything I had not to swoon." She told me, laughing. I poked her playfully as she jumped out of my lap. We laughed and had a good time, before there was a knock at the door. When I opened it, I found Lissa and Dimitri on the other side.

"Have you seen Rose?" They asked.

"No, why?"

"Neither of us have seen her since early this morning, and no one has seen her."

"You think she's missing? Have you tried calling her?" I asked.

"I've been calling her for the last hour." Dimitri said, his voice on the edge of hysteria. I could see he was losing it. The colors of his aura were shifting juristically.

"She wouldn't just leave."

"I think she's been kidnapped." He said. My heart, and everything I'd been feeling in that very moment, hit the floor before us.


	13. Less than perfect condition

"What do you mean she's been kidnapped? Rose doesn't get kidnapped. She survived you as a strigoi; she's taken on more than one of them at a time. How could someone just take her?" I demanded.

"I don't know, but none of us have seen her. She's been gone for hours now, and none of us know where she is." He told me. I still didn't know how to except what I was hearing. Rose didn't just get kidnapped. It was impossible. She was the strongest person I knew. She wouldn't let anyone just take her. I knew that much.

"Are you sure you've looked everywhere?" Sabrina asked.

"Positive." They both assured us.

"Lissa, what about-." I cut myself off, remembering that their bond was gone. She frowned.

"I always thought our bond was a burden, but it wasn't. Now she's gone, and I don't know what to do." She said, a tear leaking down her face. Dimitri's aura was wavering on insanity. It was dark gold, and red. Not his normal colors in the slightest.

"We'll find her." I assured them. Sabrina was by my side, nodding.

"We'll look for her… do one more search around Court. If we don't find her, we'll send out a search party."

"I've already got security revealing the surveillance tapes." Dimitri told me. I just nodded. My entire body was numb as Sabrina and I gathered our things to search. We split up, each taking a different part of court. As we walked, she looked over at me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I lied smoothly, hoping she'd buy it. She didn't.

"Adrian… really?"

"I'm scared." I finally said, after a few moments of silence.

"We're going to find her. We can't not find her." She said, not that it made it any better. I sighed.

"She's strong. She's so strong. I don't understand how someone could just take her. It isn't like Rose to roll over and play dead."

"Of course it's not." She said, nodding in agreement.

"Something bad is happening, very bad." I told her. I could feel it in my bones. The feeling terrified me more than anything in the world. I walked along beside her, trying to figure out where she could possibly be. I was going over every scenario I could think of in my head, trying to figure it out, but I just couldn't picture where she was. I finally gave up.

"I need to go to sleep. Maybe I can find her." I said. She nodded, as we walked to my room. I went inside, and she followed. I kicked my shoes off, and took a couple aspirin, hoping they'd help me sleep faster. They didn't. If anything, they made my anxiety worse.

"You're trying too hard. You need to relax." She told me. I sighed, and nodded, laying my head in her lap. She stroked my hair, as I closed my eyes, and slowly fell into unconsciousness. I searched long and hard until I found her. The moment I entered her dream, I felt her fear.

"Rose?" I called. I looked around, but I couldn't see her. "Little dhampir?"

"Adrian?" I heard. I was looking around everywhere, but I couldn't find her.

"Where are you?"

"Adrian, get out of here. It's not safe." She told me.

"What do you mean it's not safe? It's my dream realm."

"There's another sp-." She cut herself off with a deafening scream.

"Rose? Rose?" I called, trying to follow the sound, but it echoed so much I couldn't tell which direction it was coming from.

"Adrian, get out of here… Hurry." She cried.

"What's going on?" I yelled.

"They're after you… Adrian, get out of here… now." She screamed. She must have pushed me out of the dream, because I was suddenly sitting up, staring at the wall of my room, sweat pouring down my face.

"Adrian… Adrian, its okay. I'm right here." Sabrina said, squeezing my hand. "What happened? Where is she?"

"Someone's got her… someone powerful. I don't know." I said. I got up off the couch, and stumbled a little, as the blood started to rush back to my head. She grabbed me and steadied me before I could fall.

"Where are you going?" She asked, as I rushed to put my shoes on.

"I have to find Dimitri, and Lissa. Something's wrong here… seriously wrong." When I reached the throne room, everyone was already in there.

"Adrian, did you-." I cut Lissa off.

"Something's wrong, terribly wrong. Someone's hurting her… watching her like a hawk… even in her dreams."

"How is that possible?"

"Another spirit user?" Lissa asked.

"It has to be. How could anyone else get into her dreams?" I asked.

"Is she okay?" Dimitri asked me, face full of worry and frustration. I would have lied to him, and told him she was fine, but I wouldn't do that to him… or to her.

"No… she wasn't. They were hurting her… She was screaming, but I couldn't find her. She said… she said…." I trailed off, remembering the most important words she'd said.

"What… What is it?" Dimitri asked.

"They're after me. The people that have her… are after me."

"Why you?" Christian asked. "Who'd you piss off now?"

"Christian, this is not a time for joking." Lissa growled at him. He nodded.

"Sorry honey."

"I don't know." I answered simply. I was at loss.

"No." I heard Sabrina say. She took off out of the throne room. I followed after her, running behind her. Of course she was faster than me, so it was hard to keep up. When I realized where she was going, my heart sped up. That son of a bitch wouldn't dare have hurt her. She busted into his door to find his room empty.

"No… he wouldn't." She said.

"You think he took-." She shook her head.

"He wouldn't do this. I know him better than this. He wouldn't kidnap a guardian. If he wanted to hurt you, he would go straight for you." She said, walking out. She went downstairs to the guardian's desk.

"Put out a search for Logan Voda please." She told him.

"Can I ask why?"

"Just do it, god damn it. Don't ask questions." The guardian nodded, and pushed a few buttons and picked up a walkie-talkie and told them to start searching for him. Dimitri jogged up to the desk.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing yet." She said, walking away from the desk, and outside. I followed leaving Dimitri standing there.

"Do you really think he would-." She shook her head.

"Just stop talking… please." She snapped, running her hand through her hair.

"I swear to God, if he hurts her, Sabrina I'll kill him. I swear on it."

"Adrian, will you please shut up for five seconds." She growled, turning to face me. She'd never really yelled at me like that so it sort of threw me off for a second. I walked away from her, giving her a second to cool down. I know pressing her would only make it worse. The one thing that was throwing me off more than anything was the spirit user. There weren't any other spirit users around here that we knew of. Who would work with Voda against Rose anyway? Rose's charge was a spirit user. I didn't understand. She finally walked over to me, and took my hand in hers.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." She whispered.

"Don't apologize… I'm sorry I kept pushing." I told her, intertwining our fingers.

"We're going to find her." She promised. A guardian opened the door, and sighed.

"No sign of Voda anywhere." He informed her. She nodded once.

"Thank you." He then disappeared.

"You think he has her?" I asked.

"I don't know…only one way to find out." She pulled out her cell phone and dialed his number. She put it on speaker phone when it began to ring. The moment he picked up, my hands clenched into fists.

"I had a feeling you'd be calling me soon. He hurt you already?" Logan asked her.

"No, we've got a missing dhampir. You wouldn't happen to have seen Rose Hathaway before you conveniently left court, would you?" She asked.

"Now Sabrina, I know you're not accusing me of-." She cut him off.

"Answer the question."

"No, I haven't seen her. How do you know she didn't run off again? It wouldn't be the first time she just disappeared without reason." He said. It took everything I had to hold it together.

"Her charge and her boyfriend are both here. She had no reason to leave."

"Maybe you're wrong." He said.

"Logan…have you seen her?" She demanded.

"No… not that I can recall." He said, smartly. There was a loud crash in the background, and I heard the phone fumble a little.

"Logan, where are you?"

"I'm in my room." He said.

"No you aren't, because I'm in your room." She snapped. He sighed.

"Checking up on me? I knew you still cared."

"God damn it, Logan. Where are you?" She demanded.

"I'm spending time with a good friend of mine."

"Who?"

"No one you'd know. Adrian might know who he is… or even Dimitri." He teased.

"I swear Voda, if you hurt her, so help me God." I screamed into the phone's receiver.

"Ahh, Lord Ivashkov, I was wondering how long you could keep quiet." He said.

"If you lay a hand on her."

"I don't have her. Your accusations make me laugh."

"Then who does?" Sabrina demanded. He chuckled and in the background a high pitched scream pierced the world around us through the phone.

"Good-bye now." He said, before the receiver went dead. I swear my heart stopped. I watched as her eyes slowly looked up to meet mine. She must have noticed.

"Adrian… We're going to find her…" I turned around and swung on the wall, my fist connecting hard.

"I swear to God, if I find her in less than the perfect condition they took her in, I'll end their lives… All of them… I don't care who all is involved."

"Hey… Shhh… We're going to find her, and she's going to be fine. I promise." She told me. I shook my head.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." I whispered, before walking towards courts doors. "We'll trace the phone call, and find them." I said, my voice barely audible, before I disappeared into court with her following.


	14. Faults and Choices!

There weren't words to describe the emotions I was feeling. The rage that was so prominent in me was something I'd never really felt before. I wanted to break and destroy things, and by God did I need a drink. When I reached the guardian desk, I found Dimitri standing there, frazzled and losing it.

"Logan Voda has her." I stated.

"We don't know that for sure." I heard from behind me.

"How do you know?" Dimitri asked, ignoring Sabrina's comment.

"She called him, and he was snarky and flippant. Before he hung up, there was a scream. It has to be her. He said he was spending time with a 'good friend' that I'm guessing is also a spirit user." I explained.

"We don't know anything for sure, Adrian is guessing. We don't know-."

"Where's the phone? We'll trace the call." Dimitri said, his eyes on me. The hard expression on my face let him know that I meant business.

"Dimitri, come on now. Let's be rational here… We don't know for sure that he has her. Adrian's going off whim. Don't let-." Dimitri cut her off, as he extended his hand for the phone.

"It's the only lead we've got, Merlon. I won't lose her because you're trying to protect him." Dimitri told her. She met his gaze and then met mine before handing him the phone. He opened it, and found the number, and went to work on a computer behind the desk. "Why would he take Rose? I don't under-." I cut him off, as I glared down at the floor, trying to rein all my emotions in.

"Because of me."

"What?" Dimitri asked, looking away from his work.

"He's trying to get back at me. He took her because he knows I lo-." I cut myself off and tried again. "He took her because he knows she means something to me."

"But why would he be trying to get back at you?" I turned and looked at Sabrina.

"Because I took her from him." I said, my voice barely audible. She looked up and met my gaze. I'd never once regretted what I'd done for her, but in this moment, with Rose gone and in pain; I'd take it all back. I think she knew what I was thinking because she frowned, and mouthed the words _I'm sorry._ I shook my head slightly.

"It's not your fault." I said, knowing I couldn't blame her. She looked like she was having a hard enough time dealing with this anyway.

"I've got it." Dimitri said, standing.

"Lets go."

"I'm going with you." I heard. I sighed when I turned to find Lissa.

"This isn't your battle Liss, please let us handle this."

"She's my guardian." Lissa snapped.

"You are the queen. We can't take the chance on you getting hurt. Please, stay here… where your protected." Dimitri said.

"You can't-."

"She'll stay here." Christian said, touching her hand. She looked up at him, and glared at Dimitri.

"If anything happens you call me, understand?" Lissa snapped at him. Dimitri nodded.

"Yes your majesty." She grimaced.

"Who's going to protect you, Adrian? Dimitri's-." Sabrina cut her off.

"I will. I'm his guardian." She told her. Lissa just nodded. We all filed out of court and into a van, before hauling ass out of Courts gates.

"What if we can't find them?" Sabrina asked.

"We will." Dimitri said, simply.

"Adrian… Dimitri, I'm so sorry… on his behalf. I don't understand why he'd stoop to this. He should have seen it coming… me leaving, I mean. It was only a matter of time before I got fed up with the abuse." She said. I shook my head.

"This isn't your fault." I told her. She looked out the window.

"I feel like it is." She murmured. I reached back, and laid my hand over hers, squeezing gently.

"It's not." She said nothing, but looked up to meet my eyes. I gave her the best fake smile I could. She smiled slightly, but didn't say anything. We seemed to drive forever, before Dimitri pulled off the side of the road and onto a small dirt road.

"Why are we stopping?" I asked.

"No." Sabrina whispered.

"What? What is it?"

"There's something out there. She's out there." Dimitri said.

"Sabrina, what is it?"

"This was my father's house." She murmured, the words barely audible.

"You're kidding, right? He used your dead father-." I cut myself off, realizing my words were too harsh for the situation at hand. I could see in her aura and in her eyes that she was cracking. "If you want to stay out here, you can. You don't have to go-." She shook her head.

"I have too. I'm your guardian." She said, her voice wavering between false bravado and pain. She reminded me a lot of Rose in that way, and I think Belikov noticed too.

"You ready?" Dimitri asked her. She nodded once, before we got out of the van and started on foot down the dirt road. We split up, Dimitri heading around the back, while Sabrina and I approached the front door. She took a deep breath, obviously having to prepare herself immensely before kicking the door in. The moment she stepped inside, Logan was on his feet.

"I had a feeling you'd show up sooner or later."

"What the hell is wrong with you, Logan? Have you lost your mind?" She demanded.

"No, just my guardian… and I want her back."

"To bad." I snapped at him. He growled.

"Adrian, don't-." Sabrina snapped.

"Sabrina, I'm a wreck without you… you know that."

"Where's Rose?" She asked.

"She's safe… for now."

"God damn it, Logan. Where is she?"

"Robert?" Logan called. I saw the backdoor fly in then, and Dimitri stepped inside.

"Robert?" Dimitri said, voice obviously incredulous. A man who I recognized very well stepped out of a room with Rose in tow. She looked like hell. It looked like someone had beaten her with a bat, and burned her with a branding iron all at once.

"Rose..." I whimpered.

"Roza." Dimitri murmured, taking a few steps into the house.

"What have you done Logan?" Sabrina asked.

"He took something that meant something to me, so I found it fitting that I took something that meant everything to him." He told her. Her eyes flickered from Rose to me.

"Robert… I don't understand." Dimitri said.

"She killed my brother." He growled. It was then I realized who it was we were dealing with. Rober Doru, Victor Dashkov's brother...the one that Rose accidently killed after breaking out of prison.

"It was an accident. I've tried to tell you that." Rose cried.

"Silence." Robert snapped. Rose threw her head back and cried out it pain. Dimitri and I both jumped and started towards her, but Robert glared at us, causing us to stop. "Come any closer, and she dies." We both stopped immediately.

"Logan, this has to end."

"I want you back." He said.

"No." I snapped. Rose had now sunk to her knees from the pain.

"It's your fault she's in this, Ivashkov… Remember that. If Rose dies here, you'll have to live with that on your conscious." He told me.

"No one will be dying here." Sabrina said.

"You seem so sure." Robert told her, looking at Rose's crumbled figure.

"Robert… Logan, please. There isn't any need for this." Sabrina tried.

"I love you." Logan said, his eyes falling on Sabrina.

"You don't know what love is." She growled at him.

"I do, and I love you. I love you so much."

"You wouldn't know love if it bit you in the ass." I told Logan. He growled, and turned to kick Rose. The moment his foot connected, she convulsed, and crumbled the rest of the way to the floor.

"Little dhampir." I murmured. Dimitri had edged his way closer, almost within reach.

"Logan, stop this… NOW."

"I need you."

"If you cared anything for me, you'd let her go." Sabrina tried.

"What do I get in return?"

"You get me." She murmured.

"WHAT?" Dimitri, Logan and I all asked at the same time.

"I'll… I'll stay with you… just please… let her go."

"You're bluffing."

"I'm not. Please, just… don't hurt her anymore." She said, her eyes now on me.

"Sabrina, don't do this… please."

"I'm doing this for you." She whispered, meeting my eyes. It was in this moment, I knew I had to choose. It was between my own happiness, having Sabrina by my side, or losing the one person I cared the most about, regardless of the fact I couldn't have her. My world came tumbling down around me in a matter of seconds.


	15. Reality!

This was the hardest decision I would ever have to make, and I could already feel it weighting down on me. I could feel the pieces of my heart slowly breaking once again, falling to the floor around me. What could I do? What choice did I have? It was Rose, or her. Regardless of everything, I still loved Rose. I also realized how much I really cared for Sabrina. How much I really didn't want to lose her. It was quite possible that I maybe even loved her. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been so scared of the scene unfolding in front of me.

"I'll be your guardian again. You can have me back… just let her go. Don't hurt her anymore." Sabrina told him. He looked like he didn't believe her.

"She's giving you what you want, let her go." Dimitri roared. It was easy to see that the only thing he cared about was her.

"How do I know I can believe her?"

"You're going to have to trust me." She murmured, her voice ever so soft. She was working her magic on him (figuratively speaking). She took a few steps towards him, her hands up in surrender.

"You mean it?" He whispered. She nodded once.

"Sabrina, please."

"Adrian… I'm sorry. I won't let him hurt her because of me… because of us." She said. A tear slowly made its way down her cheek. Another piece of my heart hit the floor. I took a few steps forward, but she shook her head.

"Let her go, Logan. You got what you wanted." Logan nodded, and murmured something to Robert in Russian, and he nodded, stepping away from Rose. Dimitri ran to her side immediately, pulling her away from them.

"Let's go, Adrian." I was staring at Sabrina who was now looking at Logan.

"It didn't have to be this way." She murmured.

"It is this way. You knew what would happen when you left me." He told her. He looked at me and back to her. "He's letting you give yourself up for her. He never loved you. You were just a piece of ass to him, and nothing more. You knew that."

"Sabrina, don't believe him. He's lying." She turned back to me, and back at him. I watched as so very subtly her hand moved to her stake. I don't think anyone noticed it but me, because no one acted to stop her.

"Logan, it doesn't matter if he loves me or not. I'll never love you."

"You're lying. There was a time that I was all you wanted." He snapped at her, obviously becoming angry.

"I know there was… but that time… It's over." Tears were streaming steadily down her face now, but she didn't let it phase her actions. She pulled her stake out, driving it straight through his heart as if her were a strigoi. I saw Robert start to act, so I tackled him to the ground, before he could act. I could feel him trying to affect me, to hurt me with spirit, but it wasn't working. I was too strong for him. I he swung a punch and caught me in the face. He rolled over onto me, taking on the offense. I was screwed. Sabrina tried to help me, but she dropped to her knee's screaming in agony. I reached up and caught him in the nose one time, causing him to fall off me. I got up and began kicking him until finally, he fell unconscious. My nose was pouring blood, and I couldn't really feel my face. I heard the soft sobbing behind me, and found Sabrina still on the ground, holding her head. I hit my knee's beside her, pulling her into me.

"Hey… Shh…It's going to be okay."

"I killed him." She whispered, the words falling from her lips. I looked back to see Dimitri walking down the dirt road with Rose in his arms. She looked like she was unconscious. I couldn't tell.

"Come on, we have to go."

"No… I have to stay here… Look at what I've done." She sobbed. I took her face in my hands.

"Hey… this is his fault. He asked for everything he got, and don't think different for a second."

"I was supposed to protect him." She whispered.

"You're supposed to protect those who are worth protecting… and he wasn't. We need to get out of here before he wakes up… please." I begged. I met her eyes, and leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers, conveying all the things I couldn't say into that kiss. I took her hand in mine. "I love you, Sabrina… and I'm not leaving you here." I told her. I watched as another tear ran down her face. "I'm not leaving you…ever." She just nodded, and slowly stood up. She stumbled, but I caught her.

"God, your face." She whispered, wiping the blood. I shrugged.

"I'll be fine. I've had worse." I wrapped an arm around her waist, and helped her down the long dirt road and back into the car.

"How is she?" I asked, when we got into the car. I squeezed Sabrina's hand.

"Unconscious." Dimitri said, voice hard. Sabrina rubbed her temple.

"What did he do to me back there?"

"I don't know, but I definitely need to learn how to do it." I told her. She laid her head over on my shoulder, as I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm glad you okay." I murmured to her. She nodded as her eyes slowly drifted shut. When we finally reached court, I picked her up into my arms and carried her inside, and to her room. I laid her down in her bed, and stood there, debating on what to do next. Go make sure Rose was okay, or stay here with her. It was in that moment I realize that by going to check on Rose; I was really choosing her over Sabrina. I shook my head. I kicked my shoes off, and went back into her room, crawling into the bed beside her. I stared at her beautiful sleeping face. She looked so troubled, even in her slumber. It made me worry immensely. I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep. I suddenly felt horrible when I found myself slipping into Rose's dream.

"Adrian? Are you okay? Is… is Sabrina alright?"

"She's fine… The question is… are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded.

"I'm fine."

"Then why aren't you awake yet?" I asked.

"I… I don't know. I'm tired. My brain decided it wanted to take a nap." I just nodded. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Adrian? Tell me."

"I realized tonight how much I really cared for Sabrina, and how much I don't want to lose her… but I don't understand why I keep finding myself right back here with you." I explained.

"I'm your friend." She said.

"I know, but I find myself always here with you, no matter how hard I try. It's got to stop." I told her. She nodded.

"You love her, don't you?"

"I do." I whispered. She smiled.

"I'm so happy for you. Take care of her." I just nodded and slipped out of Rose's dream. The moment I was out of hers, I slid into Sabrina's. She was sitting on the beach, forehead against her knees, crying.

"Sabrina, honey…"

"Go, Adrian. I want to be alone." She murmured.

"I'm not going to leave you alone, on a beach, crying." I told her. She looked up, and frowned, tears running down her face. I felt so bad that I had no idea how to take away the pain. I couldn't make it better.

"I'm a murderer."

"Isn't that what you were trained to do?" I asked, stupidly.

"Not the people I'm supposed to protect." She screamed. "When word gets back around that I killed him, I'm going to jail. I'll get my guardian status revoked, I'll have nothing." I felt like she's just slapped me in the face.

"You'll have me." I murmured. She just looked away. "Is that not enough?"

"It's more than enough, but-."  
>"But what?" I demanded, not sure where she was going with this.<p>

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Rose was hurt because of me. I'm sorry that I've came into your life and caused so much pain to you and your friends." She whispered. I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. "I wish I'd never have met you." I recoiled as if she'd hit me. I actually would have preferred it.

"You… you don't mean that."

"I've ruined your life. I've hurt people you cared about." She whispered.

"You haven't ruined anything. I haven't been this happy in a long time. Yeah, some things have gone astray, but that doesn't change the way I feel about you. If I didn't want you around, if I didn't care, I would have let you stay with him and left with Rose and Dimitri. If I didn't want you, I wouldn't have made such a great effort to keep you around. I love you, Sabrina. It scares me, the idea of feeling this way for someone again, but please… don't say you wish you'd never met me." She pushed herself off the ground, and took a few steps closer.

"I love you too." She whispered. She ran her fingers across my cheeks and smiled through the tears. "You're the most amazing thing that's ever walked into my life." She pressed her lips to mine, and kissed me. It was the sweetest, most genuine kiss I think I'd ever received. When she pulled away, I smiled.

"I'm sorry that it came to this, that it came to him having to die." I said, wiping the few stray tears away. She nodded.

"It was him… or you. I knew that. I knew it from the moment I told him I was through. It's okay, Adrian. I'll live." She told me.

"I know you will, but… I'm sorry you had to make the choice." She shook her head.

"You made a choice too. The choice you made was a lot heavier than the one I made."

"But she's still here." I whispered. She nodded.

"I know, and eventually it will get easier. You know that as well as I do. You lost your Aunt, and it eventually gets easier." I nodded.

"It does."

"And I have you… that's all I'll ever need." She murmured. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. I wished I could stay in this dream world with her, never having to face my reality again, but I knew that I could face anything with her by my side.


End file.
